A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 21, i have been dating a girl for almost a year now. We love each other and we love to be around each other.she is very social, goes to the bar a lot with her friends amongst other activities. But lately I find myelf frustrated and lonely. I don't get ivited to go out anymore and anytime we hangout we just watch tv or lay in my bed and talk. I do have friends of my own and im very social. But something is different. We only see each other 2 or 3 times a week so not that much. But I wish she would want to bring me out more. The struggle is that we both come from a past full of control and manipulation. But the frustration turns to anger and jealousy. I don't know what is going through he mind. Any advice at all?? I just don't want to drive her away.
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (24 April 2014):
 Communication. It's one thing to feel angry and jealous, and another to learn how to properly channel those emotions. You have to be able to talk to her calmly about how you're feeling without getting angry and pissed.
You say you see her two or three days a week. That's a pretty good bit. That's almost every other day. So you're not going days and weeks at a time without seeing each other. So it's clearly important to her to make time for your relationship.
I, too, like to keep my friends and my relationship separate, for the most part. I go out with my friends individually and out with my partner individually. I mean no harm by it. It's just what we both do. But I wouldn't mind if my partner came along. We just both don't typically do that. But if you wish to start accompanying her some times, simply ask if she would care if you come along. She may assume you just don't want to go hang out with the girls.
As for always just watching TV or laying in bed - do you ask to take her out on dates? If not, make specific plans. Call her and ask her on a formal date. Plan a nice dinner and drinks afterwards. Or to watch the sunset together. Whatever you want to do. I'm sure she would be thrilled. And it gets you out of the house. Those are just a few suggestions.
But bottom line, if you are upset about something in your relationship, you don't have to sit and fume over it until you blow up. You just talk to each other about it. You should be able to communicate with each other.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, kinjal  +, writes (24 April 2014):
It happens
it is normal
may be you are getting insecured I think probably the problem is your not getting to spend quality time with her
Just have a frank talk with her tell her you love her alot and want to spend some more time with her try out new things go for a movie beach side with her
and please stop thinking u are lonely as you said you have friends get involved with them have fun hang out with them just divert your mind all will be fine
all the best
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