A
female
age
51-59,
*ishin06
writes:Well, I know the answer to this seems obvious to everyone else, but I really need to hear it. i was with a man for 3 and 1/2 years, we broke up once for 6 months and he dated someone else, he also spent a ton of money on her snd took her to Mexico, after he told me he was broke and couldnt take me on vacation ect.. 6 months later he calls me back.. after much persistance I fnally took him back, again he promised me the world and he would never leave me, he would take me on vacation, bla bla bla. Well this year for my Birthday, he got caught in bed with the neighbors wife!! Moved her and her 3 kids in with him, right across the street from her husband... bought her all new clothes and even a ring!! I never got a ring! Anyway, sounds like the love affair is over and she is back wuth her husband... Guess who is callling me 100 times a day?? Help!! what do I do, I dont even know what to say! it again has been 6 months and I am feeling better, why is he doing this to me?
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affair, broke up, money Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Fishin06 +, writes (16 February 2007):
Fishin06 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you everyone who responded, I know you are all right about this.. The words Door mat & back -up are exactly what I was thinking, it is hard to except that I wasted all that time on someone who obviously doesnt love me, but thanks to all who answered, it is easier for me to tell him to go to Hell, besides, it wont be long & he will be out trying to buy someone else.. This time it wont be me!
A
female
reader, Fishin06 +, writes (16 February 2007):
Fishin06 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much to everyone who replied to this, word for word, is exactly what I was thinking. I actually thought of the words door mat, & back up girl, as hard as this is to except, it is true & I thank you all for backing me up. I just had to know I was right about him.
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A
female
reader, lanenaddp +, writes (15 February 2007):
you have to let go off him if he did it onces hes gonna do it 3 time and more and like he see that you are there for him he would keep on doing it
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (14 February 2007):
 You need to drop this guy like a bad habit.
You are just his backup it sounds like to me.
As I have told many others, there are lots of men out there who will treat you like a queen, as all women should be treated. There is no excuse for anyone to use you as a door mat as he is.
Now you do the right thing and go find your Prince Charming.
He is out there living and breathing and just waiting to meet you. ;-) Doc.
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check  +, writes (14 February 2007):
 He's doing this because you are his backup - the person he goes to when he is out of options. I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but I dont believe he goes back to you because he loves you, but because he thinks you will take him back. If you were really his first choice and he loved you, he would never have left you and you would be the one with rings and vacations. I notice that in your post you dont say you love him. Chances are that because he is harassing you 100 times a day, you are confused over what to do. No doubt he has promised you the world. Think back. You took him back once before after he left you and look how that panned out. You sound like a smart person, and in this situation a smart person would tell him to stop using you and go to hell. I suggest that this is what you do. Oh, and tell him that if he continues to call you, you will involve the police for harassment. This should get the message through.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (14 February 2007):
 He's doing it because he's run out of alternative options. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. Have you noticed that if he can be with someone else he is? He just wants to be with you because it's better than being alone. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER than this man. Tell him to get lost and don't feel like you have to be that polite!
CD
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