A
female
age
36-40,
*ostinlovewithhim
writes:I want to take things to the next level we are just friends and have never chilled outside of his job but have made many plans to coming up soon. Its hard for us to get to know each other at his job because it is aginst the rules where he works. We have some of the best convos when we do talk and we are always smiling and laughing. I get butterflys around him and I cant help but smile ever time I see him. He does not know how I feel about him and I dont know how to tell him with out taking the chance of messing the friendship up. I need help and I need it fast before I see him this weekend. I am tired of holding it in. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, noonespecial2  +, writes (22 July 2009):
Hi there,
I suggest you plan on having a chat and begin with how neat your friendship is.
You could either drop hints in a humorous way such as, "you'd love to have a cool chick like me as a girlfriend wouldn't you?" or "If you're looking for the chick of your dreams, give me a call and I'll hook you up with one of my mates", then laugh it off. Although this is presented in a joking way, he may respond in a way that will give you a hint about his feelings on the idea. It can also soften a rejection if there is one.
On a more serious by casual level you could say "we'd make a great couple because we get along so well" and listen for his response.
You could also be upfront and tell him the truth yet highlight how you value your friendship and how you wouldn't want to lose it.
You may lose the friendship yet you two may be great as a couple. I guess you have to weigh it all up.
I had a long term close Male friend. We got along extremely well, we would laugh and laugh, big belly laughs until we'd cry. One night he kissed me and I freaked out, for some reason I burst into tears. He was concerned and asked what was wrong. I couldn't tell him because I was confused and didn't know how I felt, I surprised myself with my reaction. I now realise that I was scared of losing his wonderful friendship.
After some time, when I sorted my crazy head out, I figured, if we get along this well as mates, wouldn't this be the perfect foundation for a romantic relationship so I decided to give it a go. We were lasted one year. Our friendship went out the window.
I bumped into him one year later and he told me he was still in love with me and wanted to get back together. Knowing he still loved me I thought it was best to stay out of his life so he could get over me. I thought that reconciling the friendship would be just too hurtful for him. That was 5 years ago and there has been no further contact.
The funny thing was, what he loved most about me as a mate was the very thing he felt most insecure about and that was the fun outgoing side of me.
I still think about him from time to time and very much miss that friendship. We were best mates.
That was what happened for me yet doesn't mean it will happen for you.
Good luck.
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