A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I really don't know how to explain my marriage. I mean some days are better than others. My husband is 13 years older than I am. To me a marriage is based on trust and communication, to him it seems a marriage is based on sex. He once told me that a responsibilty of a wife is to go to work, come home cook, cleanup, have sex, and suck cock. Okay now I am confused, help me out with this one. What is the role of a wife? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): Marriage is about two people who want to be together because they love each other because they respect each other because they want to be together to help each other grow as mature and wholesome human beings when confronting the vicissitudes of life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): I'm curious about what his idea of a husband's role is. To do whatever he wants and get sex whenever he wants? I think both roles should be the same - to share the responsibilities of life, spending time together and still having their own friends. He wants you to be a full time 'housewife' plus fulltime worker! That's not possible. He doesn't want to share with you he wants to control you. That's not healthy. I guess it's up to you, if you want to stay with him after making a stand about your role, or leave him, but you really shouldn't fall in with his wishes, it's about what you want too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): The role of a wife has not universal definition. The 'role' is relative to the people in the relationship. However, ultimately, that role is set by the wife herself. If I ever dictate the role of my wife, on what I think she 'should' be, I would rather retire from the marriage than to allow my wife to suffer through such control. However, if this is what you want, then this is the role you have acquired and accepted. Otherwise, you 'should' reassess yourself and how you fit into this relationship, with AND without 'a role'. There are enough labels in this world. Why further saturate such an unnecessary economy by restricting yourself to a role? Within any relationship, flexibility is one of the key factors to making it work.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): There *are* some women who are willing and content to let the man decide exactly what a wife's role should be. I would imagine that since you've asked the question here that you're not sure his idea is so great. And I would agree -- he sounds like a complete lout. There's no need to be confused -- he's bad news, and that's no kind of marriage. Move on.
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