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I don't want to make him choose between me and the mother of his baby but I don't want to be the other woman either!

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 August 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I Have been friends with a guy "R" for almost 9 years. We Met in school. We had plan on dating the summer after we met but are life's got complicated so we decided not to add more drama. We stayed friends but never brought it up again. We never stopped flirting. He started dating my friend "S" about two years ago, but ended up leaving up and dating are friend "M". After dating "M" for two months they found out she was pregnant. He told me that he was only with her for the baby. He was going to break up with her the day she told him she was pregnant. She had the baby march this year. I got my heart broken about four years ago I got my heart broken because of family issues. I moved out in April so I was able to start dating again. When i went over to R's house to watch a movie a few months ago.That was the first time he kissed me in years. neither of us planned it. He mean to kiss me goodbye on the cheek but missed because we were both a little tipsy. We talked about it the next day and both said it was nothing. A few weeks later he called me over to watch a movie. We kissed for a bit. We have done this five times. We have talked about stopping but we can't. He says he loves me but can't leave her because of the baby. I don't want him to make him choose but i don't know what to be the other woman. It kills me inside to know I'm kissing a friends boyfriend, even tho she cheated on him and stole him from her best friend he is still the father of her baby. I'm not sure what to do. any advice would be helpful.

View related questions: best friend, flirt, kissing, moved out

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your help.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009):

seems like this guy has been having all your friends. now it is just your turn for him. he is going from one friend to another to another. he is sampling the goods and you people allow him to use you. just like you used the two other women he will use you then move on to someone else. this guy knows what game he is playing. please do not fall for it. he is a user and you deserve better. if you don't want to be the other woman, then stop acting and behaving like on. this guy is bad news , he just cannot keep it in his pants and he is taking all you girls for a big ride. be careful. you are his next notch, and then there will be more after you.

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A male reader, Sphronas United States +, writes (25 August 2009):

Sphronas agony auntIf you don't want to be the other woman, then don't be the other woman. This is exactly what you are going to be, though, as long as this man stays with the mother of his child, regardless of whether he loves her or not. So stay away from him.

If he does love you, and if he does not love the mother of his child, then HE must make the decision to leave her and figure out a way in which he can still be a good father for his child. Then, and only then should you even think about a relationship with him.

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