A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i have been talking to this online guy for 7 months over phone everynight for hours. we laugh and joke and sometimes have phone sex. I know everything about his family, ex etc and he talks to me when sad. He told me he likes me alot . the last couple of months he had aggro with ex and said im staying single not worth the grief. but we will meet and see how it goes. Tried to meet but due to family issues not done so yet. I started to get jealous about his friends which are girls and a mate has told me it doing his head in. he told me other day you acting like my ex. he then met up as friends with a girl he had few dates with while ago i know she wants him back. i think he has been on date with her he said when text him earlier he stopped out i said you get drunk and stay at mates he said yes i did lol . i really do not want lose this guy please help
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drunk, jealous, my ex, phone sex, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2011):
How far away does he live from you?
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (2 October 2011):
 he talks to you for something to do. sorry. i have have had men like this this and yeah, its nice at the time but a phone relationship is not like an 'in person' one. your voice keeps him company in the evenings. if he rang a sex chat line it would cost him more than ringing you. he seems to be spinning you a bit of a yarn i think. he is scared to get involved with anyone because of his bad ex? but on the other hand he is happy to keep in contact with you for the last 7 months. doesn't add up. he either wants you or he doesn't. something crops up every time he is supposed to meet up with you? i am not convinced - look, if he REALLY wanted to meet you - he WOULD. no matter what he says, his inability to actually make a date with you SHOULD be telling you something.
he is wasting your time. don't be offended at what i say - i am not saying it to upset you, its just that us strangers can see him for what he is, coz our judgement is not clouded by affection for him and your (maybe) desperation to get a relationship out of these scraps of his time.
don't be used and don't allow someone to waste your time like this
x
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 October 2011):
 you are grasping at straws. "when I get this all sorted out" he says... well that could be 6 months a year or longer... he's going out he's having a life I hope you are doing the same.
You do not have a real relationship with this person. When I'm in need I want my partner THERE by my side helping me. My man feels the same way.... you want your love with you to help you...
He's using your ear. and stringing you along as an ego stroke...
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (2 October 2011):
Sadly I agree with the other posters. I am also a hopless romantic but you are just this guys "therapist" for now . I'm sure he likes talking to you because he knows you care and it feeds his ego and makes him
feel good that there is someone out there who cares about how his day went. BUT he is not viewing you as a serious girlfriend. If he was noTHinG would stop him from seeing you.
I dated a guy who lived 3 hours away by plan and all we did was talk about the next time we'd see each other and we did. Every month - he or I flew to see each other. Men make it happen when they want.
For you - I suggest you cut off contact and go on dates yourself. If you can't do it cold turkey, then slowly move on. Don't answer the phone next time he calls. Wait a day to text him back and go on dates !! Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): He was never yours to lose? It WOULD NOT, I repeat WOULD NOT, take someone 7 months to arrange to meet you if they really wanted to...
Wise up, he may like to talk to you as a friend,(and get off on it), but he is not interested in anything more, actions speak LOUDER than words!
He is abusing your good nature, he sounds like a player and a bit of a pleb to be honest. (I would also not believe what he has told you about his family or his ex either...)
Do yourself a favour, find someone who IS prepared to put the time and effort in to get to know you in real life...Sorry to be blunt, but I think you are living in cloud cuckoo land with this one, and I think you know you deserve more...
Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (2 October 2011):
 You assume that the daily communication is an indicator of his deep love for you. Sadly this may not be the case at all. I have men who talk to me regularly, gushing their hearts out and telling me of their personal problems. Do they love me? No! They just need someone to listen to their problems because they don't have someone in their lives they feel comfortable sharing such information with. There are a lot of lonely men out there. Most men don't have real friends as women do, who they can share things with. They just have shallow acquaintances with no substance. Don't be fooled into thinking that he loves you because he talks to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): Sadly your just an ear at the end of the phone, somebody to unload his problems too,just a cyber friend.Actions speak louder than words and he hasn't made any effort to meet. Forget him, there's nothing your going to lose that you will miss.Its not a relationship and after 7 months you've given him enough of your time.Hes playing silly games.Block him, delete number, dont pick up his calls.... just forget him and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionif he wasnt bothered why would he text and talk for 4 -5 hours every night and tell me he enjoys it and def wants meet . even text today
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know its silly but i feel so close to him we know everything about each others lives and talk for 4 and 5 hours on the phone. he has said scares him i act like his ex have spoken with his mates and they say same. we text everyday and talk all night why would he do that and even today text whilst still out. he tells me text him when out with mates and has said def wants meet he got to get it sorted
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know its silly but i feel so close to him we know everything about each others lives and talk for 4 and 5 hours on the phone. he has said scares him i act like his ex have spoken with his mates and they say same. we text everyday and talk all night why would he do that and even today text whilst still out. he tells me text him when out with mates and has said def wants meet he got to get it sorted
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 October 2011):
what is it you don't want to lose. A voice on the end of the phone line? All you have is a guy you met online that you have heard his voice... he may be 600 pounds and bed for all you know.UNTIL you have met him IRL you have nothing to lose.He makes excuses for not meeting right? What are you jealous of? If you are close enough to meet and it's been 7 months and he has not met you IRL, then he is not really interested in pursuing a relationship with you other than phone and online.MEN who want a relationship, even if it's just sex will do what they need to do to make it happen. MEN in love, will do ANYTHING to be with the woman they love. WHAT has HE done to be with you?I'm sorry to tell you this but I don't see you having much to lose here...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): Hey, you don't even have him so you can't really lose him. You are talking on the phone and not living life while he is out dating and living his own life. He texts and uses you to masturbate but won't meet you.
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