A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone,I have had a pretty rough year, And now I'm in an even more messed up situation.Back at the start of the year i resigned from a job i hated doing to pursue some study and get into a real job i enjoy (Which i can now say has happened an i love my job) but during my brief period of unemployment my girlfriend of 5 years left me.This wreck me as we had a life together. We had bought a house, had pet, furniture and we were going to get married. But she was unhappy and left to pursue 'fun' and 'other relationships'I cried for months and begged her to get back with me but to no luck. To top it off, all our friend (we were together for a very long time so all our friends sorta became mutual friends) abandon me to make sure she was okay. I was so alone.I eventually started to get over the whole thing when i started my new job (it was still tough, especially financially but i managed to cope and still am today) and made new friends as well. Anyway one of my new friends happened to be a distant friend of my ex, we became close and ended up sleeping together, it was only sex but still it happened. My ex now wants to fix things that she realizes the grass wasn't greener on the other side. She had always had her suspicions about this girl and myself, but it wasn't her place to know so i never told my exAnyway now my ex wants to get back with me 12 months later, she asked me about this other girl and i told her that we slept together once.Now my ex is mega shitty at me, demanding that i no longer see this girl (who happens to be my friend, who was there for me along with a couple of other people when no one else was) because she wants to fix thing between us. She also wants to confront this girl and tell her how hurt and betrayed she is and wants her to feel bad for what she did!!This girl and myself did nothing wrong, and i refuse to lose my friends. But at the same time im torn between whether i want to fix things with my ex or just leave whatever is in past and move on with my life.It hurts because my ex wanted nothing to do with me when we first split up and now she just thinks she can crawl back into my life and demand things of me because she doesn't approve (even though this girl was kinda my ex's friend)I don't want to loose my friends but at the same time I'm not sure i want to loose my ex as well Any advice would be appricated
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2013): I'm not even sure why you have to ask. Dump the psycho and move on with your life. There's no other option if you wish to keep your dignity
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 December 2013):
 Wow, your ex's middle name should be Entitled ! Not only she left you in a heartbeat to have " fun " and " new relationships " , she also expects that you should have kept yourself chaste, pure, and asocial for the duration, ... just in case she might get tired of having fun and want you back some time down the line.
I imagine that this fun will also have included intimate contacts with other guys, but that's fine for her to do and for you to accept, while she has to make sure that she gets rid of anything in human form that may deflate a bit her big ego and remind her she is not the only attractive female in the world.
Plus, she is not coming back to you, tail between her legs, apologizing for the mistake she made, no, she is dictating conditions !
What happened, IMO, is that she got repeatedly the boot by a few men less patient, less malleable than you , and now she wants to go back to a relationship where she calls the shots.
Keep your friend, tell your ex to stop being ridicolous, and if you do take her back ( which anyway IMHO is a bad idea ) at least make sure that your middle name does not become Pussywhipped.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (17 December 2013):
 Your ex is not worth it, when things were tough she left you alone. Now that she has grazed on the other side, she realises what she gave up.
I get the impression you love her and want her back, did she sleep around during the time you guys broke up, if so she cannot go around "the kettle calling the pot black". Who you dated during that time is your business and don't owe her anything.
If you take the ex back and give up this friendship, she will always remind you of how you slept with her friend, can you go through life like that? I suggest you tell the ex, you did nothing wrong and ashamed off, she either accepts that you are friends or there is no reconciliation. Don't let the ex dictate the terms in your life, she leaves and come back when it suits her. She should have know what a break up entails. She looses all right.
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A
female
reader, Lieutenant  +, writes (16 December 2013):
Time to move on. She left you and took your friends along with her. Now you've made new friends, she's demanding you get rid of one because you slept with her while the both of you were BROKEN UP. I swear some women are just plain crazy. She cannot tell you what you can or can't do. SHE BROKE YOUR HEART; didn't give you the time of day while you were begging and grovelling for her to take you back and now she figures she's not going to get better than you and/or is scared someone else will get you, she struts in like a boss and is demanding things of you. She should be begging you to take her back, not telling you to cut people off and trying to make people feel guilty because of what they did while she was having her "fun". She sounds like a nutjob; leave her. If the girl you slept with was there for you when you were having your down time, chances are that she will always be there. She sounds like a level headed human being and someone to keep in your life (who wouldn't end up leaving you and taking your friends with her).
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