| A
male
,
*hredordie
writes: So one of my best friends (college buddies, known each other for over 3 years, would do anything for the guy) recently came out and told me that he hooked up several times over the past year with my ex girlfriend, starting 3 months after we broke up (we broke up last February). Now, this is one of THOSE girls, you know the kind where they can do no wrong and you feel like you'll always love them??? I mean, I feel like I could go and date other girls, and I would welcome the opportunity, but right now she's still always in the back of my mind and I'd do anything to win her back. She's the type that can't stay single and it seems my friend (who is one of her good friends as well) is her most recent fixture. She broke up with her now ex in mind-November.Anyways, back to the thing with my friend. He assured me that he was sorry and that it wouldn't happen again, that he kept digging a hole for himelf and that it was just hard to get out of. He also said that he doesn't want a relationship with her. And I believed him when he said that.However, I also know that he knows how much she likes him right now and I feel like he leads her on (or maybe he lied and does want a relationship?). I even ran into them on my walk home from work today. They were probably going to get dinner or something, and though I know there is nothing wrong with good friends going to dinner together, I wonder why he would go out with her after this situation, when he is supposedly trying to reconcile with me. I had every intention of reconciling with him, again, he's one of my best friends, but I can't shake the feeling that he wants more with her. He went behind my back this whole time, what's to stop him again?If you've read this far, thanks for putting up with my ranting, I really do appreciate any feedback and advice. I don't want to lose my best friend and the girl of my dreams all in one....
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, ex girlfriend, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (9 February 2007):
 Then I would send him an instant message. Ask him if it's okay for you to call him, that way you can both talk one to one. Let him see that you're over her and that you value his friendship more than any woman's. If he wants to hang about with her as a friend then give him you're blessing. As long as he sees that you're not against it then the tension between you both will lessen.
Good friends are hard to find so hold on to them! ;o)
Let me know how it goes okay?
Eve
A
male
reader, shredordie +, writes (9 February 2007):
shredordie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, thanks for your input Eve. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear, but they weren't ever really dating eachother. They had some one night flings while she was dating a nother guy, whom she broke up with in mid-November. You're right though, and I really do want to reconcile with him, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I want to send him an Instant Message or something tonight and just tell him exactly how I feel, both about this girl and about the whole situation and what he did. I don't want the the time of not talking to eachother go on longer, as I feel it'd be harder to reconcile further down the line. Let me know what you think. Thank you.
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (9 February 2007):
I think your best friend really does like her but feel loyalty to you (now that she broke up with him) and that's why he said what he did to you. It seems to me he really likes her though.
What he should be doing is staying away from her and not doing things like going for dinner with her, she'll only flirt and tease him and he'll be putty in her hands. Have a word with him. Ask him how he really feels and let him know she's probably just playing with his feelings.
I wouldn't break up with my best friend for any man (or woman in your case.) You've probably known him longer than you have this girl. Stay close and watch her at work, she'll probably be flirting and teasing loads of guys without any intentions of getting serious with them. She's just using her girl power now that she's growing up and realises that she's getting noticed by the opposite sex.
Eve
...............................
|
