A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 months. Everything was going great, we were loving to each other during school and we spent some time together on the weekends. But, things have been going downhill since a month ago. Her father is very protective with her and does not want her to be in a relationship. She has kept me a secret from him but he has somehow found out about me. She told her father that we broke up when we actually didn't. Her brother goes to the same school as us so he spies on us to make sure we are not together. We are still loving to each other outside of school via texts and calls. But, we are starting to stop being as loving as we were before. She has also started to be with her ex-boyfriend a lot more. He was once her best friend and now she says that they are best friends again. She always spends time with him and hangs out with him. Yet, when i ask her if she wants to hang out she says she's busy that day or she gets mad. Why is she doing this? I've told her that her friend bothers me and all she says is that they are only friends and that i don't trust her. Please Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you again GoGreen126. I can't thank you enough for all of your responses. Thank you for taking the time to help me with my dilemma. Best wishes to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): I don't really know what to say about that. I don't think she should be with someone else if she still has such serious feelings for an ex... Idk. It sounds like she needs time.
Maybe you both do.
Remember, she's not perfect and sometimes she needs alone time too. You don't want to be that clingy bf... No girl is ever happy with that... Time and space can work wonders, and separation can make the heart grow fonder, I guess...
Good luck,
-GG
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionblah today brought another problem :( she admitted that she still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend/best friend. She admitted this to me and we both agreed that she would stay away from him for a while. This seemed fine to me. But now she is upset with me for some reason. She doesn't answer my calls or my texts and we hardly talk in school. Yet sometimes i see her talking to her ex-boyfriend/best friend. I have noticed that they are not together as much. But she has been with me less also. Is she just upset about losing a friend? or is there something more.? please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): Of course! I can only hope to help!Any girl whose bf will go to this site and ask for help to man their relationship better is very very lucky. ;-)-GG
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you GoGreen126. You have helped me a lot. I've been trying my hardest to keep the relationship going and so far it's been working. I appreciate you taking ur time to help me with my situation. Thanks again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): if you don't trust her that means you shouldn't even bother
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): Keeping things from family and lyig to them ALWAYS ruins teenage relationships. I'm not being melodramatic--I know this one from experience. If you aren't willing to admit to other people that you are happy to be together, well, what does that show about your relationship? That's def a bad sign.
Just because she hangs out with her ex doesn't always have to mean something. If they were best friends, are you really going to get in between your gf and her best friend? That really sounds like a bad idea to me. My ex is one of my best friends, my bf is the other of my two best friends. My bf won't admit to jealousy, and that's a problem. It's goodthat you've told your gf that.
Contrary, however, to what I just said, you cannot dictate what your gf does. Shell just be angry with you for being controlling and trying to limit her. As her bf, you absolutely do NOT have that right.
If you and your gf are growing apart, by my book you have two options:
1. Try. A LOT. Any girl would be stupid not to appreciate you trying to kelp the relationship working. Mention it to her. If you mean as much to her as she does to you, this should kind of be a wake up call to her.
2. Don't try. Let the chips fall where they may. Give up. If it didn't work out then it didn't work out and it wasn't meant to be anyway. If lack of "lovey dovey"ness is going to ruin your relationship (or end it) then it wasn't a very strong relationship to start with, was it?
Good luck, and I hope this helped,
-GG
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