A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone!Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half, and his attitude is getting to the point where I don't know what to do. He has a childish way of dealing with things when hes upset, he never wants to talk about it, he'll just get angry and punch walls/the bed/chuck things around the room. He has what I guess you could call tantrums.I do love him so so much, but the way he acts is upsetting me greatly. Last night I was invited to a birthday party by one of my old friends, he didn't want me to go, and I invited him along and he said no, he's going to a different party. I had no problem with it and he said he'd text me, and eventually said I could go to my friends party. He does this a lot and tries to guilt me into staying at home, or gets angry if I see people without him being there.I went to the party, text him, he never replied. After a few drinks I decided I couldn't drive home so I texted him and said I was going to stay at the house with a few other people, which was true. I slept on my friends sofa. My boyfriend also stayed at the party he went to (He didn't tell me whos party it was, or where it was) and I was fine with it because I trust him.This morning I texted him, saying goodmorning, are you ok etcetc. No reply. I called him and he hung up, but it still rang. He replied to one of my texts, totally ignoring everything I had said in it and just said 'Hi', and now he's not talking to me at all, I dont know where he is or what hes doing.Now I fear hes in one of his tantrums again and I seriously don't know what to do, he does this all the time and it makes me feel like I'm the bad person for going out. Is this true? I've tried in the past talking to him about this and how he acts and what it makes me feel like and he always says sorry, but nothing ever happens.I don't want to leave him, I really don't, how else can I sort this out?!
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): It sounds like your man is selfish, very insecure and not trust worthy. His violent behavior is just going to get worse. It seems like you need to move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): I was in a similar situation not so long ago. Sadly, though, when a guy starts treating you in this way there are only two options Talk or Walk. I decided to walk, you can't go on being used and abused in such ways, we are all human and deserve to be treated as a human, if that's not what you're getting then why stay?
Try talking to him, give him an ultimatum: Talk to me or I will leave. Remind him you have feelings too and that you want to be able to help him, because you love him. If he says nothing give him a day or two tell him if he won't speak to you and tell you why he's acting that way then tell him you are going to leave him.
If you do end up leaving him don't regret it. It wasn't your fault, never let anyone try to convince you it was, don't let him play with your mind. Ever. There are plenty more people who will treat you the way you deserve, you are a good person, don't let anyone tell you different.
Good Luck :)
P.S. Don't waste your time on him if he isn't interested simply move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Felisha Marie  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 Well, Babe, I hate to break it to you, but this could lead to something much more serious than just throwing tantrums, if it hasn't already. I was in a relationship similar to yours, and no matter how hard you try, someone as bull-headed as that...can not be molded into the better person you are hoping for. you love him with the fantasmic image in your head of him...but true love doesn't bring violence, and true love is usually only a mature thing that can occur between two adults. If you've talked with him before about this, and still no progress, there's no use beating a dead horse. Tell him it's his attitude goes and he gets to be with you, don't put it in a way that sounds possesive as he just 'gets' you...he gets to be with you...as oin you guys are working together for that relationship. Also, i would advise for some counseling. You and him separate, and then together.
...............................
A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (12 July 2009):
I don't think you are at all wrong for your feelings. I am sorry that it seems as though the heartful feelings are a one way street right now. If you are not happy with the way things are I would try your best to not let the feelings of love stop you from being honest. Its easy to think you have to stay because you love him and it is possibly that he feels like he may want out and he may feel guilty and doesn't know how to tell you. All I can really say is be honest with him and don't waste your time or his.
...............................
|
