A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have had a crush on the same guy since high school. As soon as I met him I found him charming, intelligent, hilarious, and really nice. He always set my heart aflutter when I saw him. I figured he was way out of my league as he was a grade above me (even though he's a few months younger than me), and he had really "cool" friends.In retrospect, it seems like he may have had an interest in me. He took me with him to a friends birthday party at a restaurant once. He drove me home. I was so nervous that he might kiss me or something I just got out of the car really quickly. Things went on like this until he graduated high school.About a year later, chatting online I admitted to him that I had "had" a huge crush on him during high school. He then replied that he had too. This broke my heart that I never had the guts to make a move. This made me ever the more attracted to him. He remained on my list of regrets, ie. things I should have done. I even admitted to my first serious partner that I was in love with someone else. So he always remained on my mind.Another year later and we get back in touch a little bit. Since he traveled around a lot after graduating. We would talk on the phone about once a week for a month. These conversations would last for hours. Then he decides he's coming to visit my area to see some friends. We promise to have dinner.At the time it is my birthday, and I am single. I have plans to go celebrate another friends birthday as well so I have a pin that says "kiss me, I'm single." Well he comes over for dinner, and we end up kissing etc. We don't go all the way. I confess that I think I may love him, and i've been waiting to do this for a long time. Later on he even stays the night, though he won't sleep with me as he is a virgin and felt he was too drunk. I was disappointed, but I backed off.Then he has to leave the next morning and goes away for 9 months on a volunteer trip. He insists that he doesn't want a long distance relationship, he will try to keep in touch, and I should write to him. At first I do. I write about how i miss him, what i'm up to, etc. I even tell him later on when I start dating someone.Now the time has come for his 9 months to be up. I want to try to convince him to come visit me, if not move to my city. How can I tell him I would break up with my current boyfriend, and, in fact, do anything to be with him? I don't want to scare him away. I don't want to come one to strong. How can I just ease into the topic of "i'm head over heels for you and can see myself spending the rest of my life with you" It's not something you can just say outright. I don't even know what's happened in the 9 months he's been gone. He never really kept in touch. I just need to know how he feels about me. I wish he would just break my heart so I can stop being so confused.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): you need to come out and ask him.
and i wouldn't break up with your boyfriend that you have now. if that guy didn't keep in contact with you then forget him really. he just wants some tail.
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