A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy through some mutual friends. He in only in the city right now for work, for a couple of months, however it was an instant connection, and he asked me out on a date. We have gone on multiple dates now, and have spent a lot of time together. We text quite frequently, and share laughs over social media. Last week we had a conversation after a date about what this "thing" is, and this is what he shared... He was speaking to his best friend about me, and was just in shock that we even met. He wasn't looking for anything in coming to the city, and was only looking at focusing on work. But then we met, and he really liked spending time with me. He thought I was attractive, and fun, and all of those things. Ultimately, he told me he's interested, but doesn't know what to do... because he's only here for a few months. He brought up long distance, but trailed off because I think it scares him. Anyways, I told him that I feel the same about him, and definitely wasn't looking for anything when we met. But here we are. The problem now... is that I don't know if that conversation was good or not. Do guys mean it when they say they like you? Now what? He is very focused on work, and it's hard to find time to spend with him during the week because of it. But when I see him, it's the instant connection all over again, and all of my doubts flee. I'm afraid of getting hurt, and I'm afraid of being "played". Would he tell me he likes me if he didn't mean it, and am I wasting my time? If he truly does like me, is it worth starting something with the future of him leaving in 2 months looming over us? I don't want to invest in something that will hurt me, or waste both of our time. HELP!
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female
reader, 0livia  +, writes (20 April 2020):
 If you dont want to invest then DONT lol trust ur intuition - 9/10 youre rite!
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (4 July 2019):
 As someone once said: there are only two certainties in life - taxes and death. There are no guarantees with anything else, ESPECIALLY when dealing with people.
So this guy has told you he likes you. Lucky he didn't say anything more, given how you are already overthinking just that! I am jesting of course. You do, however, need to lighten up and stop over-analysing everything he says.
He told you he likes you because . . . HE LIKES YOU. It does not mean he loves you. It does not mean he wants to be with you for ever. It MIGHT mean he is thinking about how to handle the relationship in the future. It MIGHT also mean he is trying to get laid while he is away.
You cannot insulate yourself against hurt and 2 months can be a long time in the dating game. I would suggest playing things by ear for the next few weeks and just seeing how it goes. You might both get bored of each other in that time, or you might become closer and decide to try for a LDR. There is no way of knowing if you are wasting your time (as you describe it) until you have wasted it. That is all part and parcel of dating. Perhaps it would help if you saw it as "experience" rather than wasting time? Worst case scenario: you enjoy the next couple of months together, then go your separate ways. Yes, you may miss him and feel sad, but time enjoyed with someone is never "wasted".
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