A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This guy I work with I think just wants a one-off, he has asked me round to his place, I want to go because I fancy him but I don't want to have sex the first time we are alone, what can I do instead of going all the way, would a blow job be acceptable or would he annoyed that I didn't sleep with him, I don't want to be used just for sex but I want to get to know him better.
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male
reader, Fingle +, writes (28 January 2009):
Just tell him straight that sex is not an option until you get to know him better. I doubt he will be expecting it the 1st time he is alone with you anyway. If he does try it on be firm, push him away and say "NO!".
A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (25 January 2009):
a BJ usually lets the guy think that you want more then just a BJ. if you don't want sex, don;t give him a BJ. hand job sometimes is a better option. but make it clear that's all he is getting.
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A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (25 January 2009):
 If you really like him as you have said i would steer clear of going around to his place, he knows you like him and is playing on this but he has no real feelings for you if a one off is what he is suggesting! If that is all he wants from you then quite frankly he is not worth the bother and i am sure you know this anyway.If he had any respect for you and wanted to persue a proper relationship he would have asked you out on a date and not even mentioned sleeping with him at this point he would be prepared to wait a while longer.I know you fancy him but by going around to his and particularly giving him a blow job will only confirm to him that you are not relationship material! He is not prepared to spend the time romancing you so tell him NO you will only get hurt if you get involved in this way and that is a certainty!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): You should wait to have sex. You shouldn't need to want to give him sexually advances if you don't want to. He also shouldn't care what you do for him sexually, if he really cares about you.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (25 January 2009):
 If you dont want to be used for sex then dont go round to his as this "one off" is all he wants and to be fair to him he seems to have told you it will be once and not the start of a romance.
Dont let him use you, keep your pride and keep away from him, let some other girl fulfil him sexually or he could go to a prostitute if its a now and again sexual fling he wants, dont let any man use you for sex unless that is what you really want and for that you must realise that the only feelings he will have for you are of a sexual nature, you are bound to get hurt so just dont do it.
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