A
female
age
30-35,
*ndlessdestiny
writes:My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a year and a half, and we're extremely close and have never argued or had any problems. He's usually very honest and open with me I'm the same with him - we tell each other everything. So this is the story. About a month ago I hadn't heard from him in about a week. He lives and works quite far away from me and has recently started a new job, and there's never any phone reception so it doesn't surprise me if I go a while without hearing from him. Thing is, during this week I hadn't heard from him, he just wasn't answering his phone and whenhe eventually rang me, it was from a phonebox and he told me his call button had broken on his phone so he couldn't accept calls. I thought it was a bit odd.So anyway, I mentioned to my dad about his phone being broken and he offered to fix it. My boyfriend came over and we went for a walk, and when we got back and my dad asked to see the phone, my boyfriend looked everywhere in his jacket but said he couldn't find his phone, and then went on to tell me he was sure he'd left it on the bench where we'd been sitting earlier. My dad felt sorry for him and gave him my sister's old phone to borrow, along with £10 of credit on it. Something about it made me very suspicious but I went along with his story, and before he left I put on his jacket, only to feel his phone in his pocket (and it was in a pocket that he couldn't have simply not checked or overlooked). I didn't confront him but asked him several times if he was absolutely sure that he didn't have his phone, and I offered to look in his jacket for him but he got a bit defensive. Time went on and nothing more was said. Last week however, he was staying with us and at about 7am, an alarm went off in his bag in my bedroom, waking everybody up. I instantly knew it was his phone's alarm and I went downstairs where he sleeps and told him there was an alarm going off and it wasn't mine, and he went upstairs and 'checked' his bag and the alarm subsided, but he then came back and told me he hadn't been able to find anything. Things carried on as they were but that night he was staying again and I sent him a text saying that I thought it'd been his phone, and he admitted to it and said that he was really sorry, he didn't want it to hurt our relationship, and said that he'd explain everything face to face. The following day, we talked and he told me he had no explanation - he'd just 'said' that he had lost his phone and felt too bad about telling me he'd lied. I told him I didn't believe him, that the trust had gone etc, and he proceeded to tell me he loved me and he was really genuinely sorry. The apology seemed genuine but there were so many holes in his story.I said it wasn't over and we needed to discuss it further, and on friday we met up again but didn't get the chance to talk about it. However, I noticed he was being really open about his old phone, even to the point of leaving it lying around, and then - amazingly - taking calls off it whilst I was sitting next to him (even though apparently it was still broken). I asked him last night if he'd managed to get his phone fixed, and he said no. Today I've rung his old phone and he answered it, and was acting as if everything was normal?!I don't understand it because he's been so open with me about serious stuff like drugs etc (he smokes cannabis but that's it, and I can be 100% sure of that). As for it being another girl, it crossed my mind but he seems really genuine about his love for me. The affectionate side hasn't changed at all, he's still contacting me as much and he's inviting me over to where he works more so I can meet all his friends. He seems the same as what he's always been, except for this strange lying!
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female
reader, smeedle +, writes (25 January 2009):
 wow, well I agree with you his lies are strange, reading what you wrote I was certain he was having an affair but when I got to the bottom I changed my mind slightly.
Im really not sure what is going on with him but if I was you I would sit him down and tell him you want a full and frank explanation or you will have no choice but to think he is having an affair and wants to end the relationship.
This will hopefully shock him into telling you what is going on.
Good luck and dont stand for anymore excuses.
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