A
female
age
36-40,
*ena1
writes:Hi every body,I am tired of living with my mother in law at the same house ,and i don't know how to convince my husband to move and live alone.We just got married a few months ago and i moved from another country to usa,befor i come here he asked me to move to another place because he was living with his alone mom,but i said no because i felt sory for her and i did not want her to be alone.But when i came to usa and we got married and live with her at same house i started getting annoyed by her,she is nice women but too nosey which i don't like,and also always there is problem between her and my husband,they dont sit at same room together and if they did they start problems.she complains lot and about anything and he is tired of that,i don't feel comfortable at the house because i know there eyes there watching me,i don't like the furniture or any thing here because it old style.my husband wanted to buy new things but i don't see any point of it because i will not enjoy it neither him.the only room i have here is the bed room,i don't feel like i am married because i don't have normal marriage life,we eat at the bed room and sleep in it.because my dear husband doesn't like to eat at the dinning room or sit at living room because of his mom.the funny thing is that his mother don't appreciate us siting with her,she thinks we are here because he is not able to rent other place,because she pay for rent and she has food stamps and he pays for the other bills of the house.i talked to him and i told him all this stuff and what his mom think and i told him that i want my own place but his answer is that i chosed this situation ,i told him since i chosed it i want to change it ,but he says to me that his mother cant live alone and also if we move he will still have to pay for the other bills for her.she has daughter but she does nothing to her.i told him she can rent small house with only one bed room and then she will be able to pay for every things,but,if not you can share the other bills you and your sister,also we can rent our own place near her house so you can be close ,in order to check on her any time you want.but nothing worked,i dont know what to do any more.i want advice how can i convince him.he knows i am not happy about the situation but he does nothing.what should i do.help me plz i am lost. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, angelalb +, writes (14 April 2010):
I am going through the same thing. I have been living with my mother in law since we had gotten married 2 years ago. My husband and I are in our fortys. He and his mom got a house together before I met him. He pays the monthly morgage and she put the down payment. We split all the rest of the bills. I don't like her style either she is 70 and old fashioned. She can be nosy about our business and expect things in the house done her way. I am just not sure were my place in this house is. Like you my husband and I spend a lot of time in our bedroom that we are outgrowing. I voiced my opions to my husband and maybee suggested moving out. She is leaving him the house and he doesn't want to give up what he already invested. I would talk to your husband and if you can financially I don't see why you couldn't move out. It seems like he doesn't have the best relations with his mom anyway. My husband an mother get into it but we can have dinner together and sit in the same room. She is just impossible sometimes an will push my husbands buttons. Good Luck to you. I know what your going through. Daniele
A
female
reader, lena1 +, writes (27 May 2009):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you for your reply.
but none of that will work,because I can not get my own place alone because I dont work and I can t work yet .
also my husband has very hard head even if i had money and left without his wellness he will be stubborn and he will not follow me.
He knowa i am not happy and i explain to him many times,but always his answer i chosed this.
well since i chosed it i want to change it,but his answer is i should act with this things as adult not child.
i am tired of talking about it to him.
but i think i will just wait and when i will be able to work
I am just gonna go away and if he comes with me it gonna be fine if not i will let him with his mother,and see how his life will be like.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 May 2009):
I think you have to tell him.
"I am not happy living here. I want to leave."
If he won't then tell him you will and go and rent a place of your own. I assume you work? If not then get a job.
Find a place of your own and I bet he'll suddenly find he can move in with you.
Just start getting info on new places and working it all out. I bet he will get excited when he sees a place he likes.
Talk to his mum about how much money she needs and see if she would be happy to move to a smaller place too.
Good Luck!! xx
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