A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend always has to know why. It seems like I can't ask her to do anything without her knowing why I want her to do it.For instance, we'll be walking along and I'll say stop (because I want the people behind us to pass us) and she'll keep on walking and ask why. I didn't want to answer because I didn't want the people behind us hearing me. Most of the time it seems like it takes longer to explain why I want to do what I want to do then it would take to just do it and have her figure it out after it's done. In this particular instance she had just said she was tired, so she assumed we were stopping for her and didn't want us to stop for that.She asks why is it so bad to ask why, but its very frustrating to always have to explain yourself and it feels like the person doesn't trust you. She says she's not a dog and she wants to know why before she does things.It feels like she's being controlling by always wanting to know why. It feels like I'm getting hassled for wanting to do anything.Any advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): Erm - I think most people with a mind of their own would agree that it's totally reasonable, if someone asks you to do something to know why you need to do it.If you're expecting someone to blindly follow your orders without questioning then I don't think it's your girlfriend who has the problem! You want unquestioning obedience, get a dog!
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 May 2009):
I agree with baby duck.
If you say "hang on a sec" and pull her to one side and say "I don't like having people behind me" then she's not going to ask why.
If you just say "STOP!" then she is going to ask why.
I had a boyfriend who used to say "Come!" rather than "Come on then let's go" and I used to have a massive go at him about it. It's not nice being ordered to do something so just watch your tone and smile and be nice to her when you ask her to do something.
You are asking not telling remember.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, LoveisCure +, writes (19 May 2009):
thats really.....and all i have 2 say is wow and w/an fedish or whatever like that it would be really hard 2 b by an person like that and if it erkes u 2 the point where u just want 2 b alone i think u should brake up w/her b4 this agervation takes hold of u and ends up being jerky
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A
female
reader, jess18maine +, writes (19 May 2009):
 By the sounds of what you wrote you sound more like the controlling one. I hope that you have better examples then the stopping to let some people pass because it sounds like your over reacting. If someone asked you to jump for no reason would you really just do it no questions asked? This has nothing to do with trust by the way.
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