A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What am i supposed to do everything is so different now!! Lets start from the begining...my boyfriend lets call him Alex. Well Alex is my first real boyfriend. I never really went out with a guy before i was more one of those people that just likes to have fun hang out with friends and be one of those girls that doesnt care wahat happens at a party cause there was no boyfriend to worry about. I could kiss and flirt with any guy i wanted cause there was no limitations but now i have a boyfriend and i'm scared that i'll mess it up. I dont want to change for a guy but if i stay the same way then i'll mess everything up, wont i? I love Alex and he loves me but im so scared that i'll mess everything up and then i will get really hurt. I wont this relationship to last. It has been 3 weeks since we started going out and im scared that what ever i end up doing is going to hurt someone. Alex knows that i used to be the girl that was with a different guy at every party but i have changed. It is so different with a boyfriend cause i feel sort of trapped, am i supposed to feel this? will i always feel this way? I like the person that i am now but i still feel like there is something wrong. I am sort of scared of what is going to happen cause i have never had a real boyfriend before so i dont know what is supposed to happen in a relationship. I a little scared to be alone with him cause i dont know what to do, he knows more then i do about that stuff. The farthest i have gone with a guy is making out with him. I love Alex, i really do but im a little scared if he were to want to go farther i wouldnt know what to do... I sorry for making this so long but i just needed some help with everything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone this has been a big help
A
female
reader, niki20  +, writes (3 May 2009):
 i agree with satindesire, you sound likr your not ready. you have to choose if you really lile this guy torget your past. if you want to make out w/ a bunch?of dudes youd have to forget about alex. having a boyfriend doesnt mean you can party, just cant kiss other dudes or anything w/any other guy. you can still dance w/e you do you can do that stuff w/him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit's not really making out with then it's more kissing them.....but I really love my boyfriend I don't think I could not have him around. I'm just scared that what I hve done in the past will mess it up for me..
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A
female
reader, Jia +, writes (3 May 2009):
 If you really want to stay with this guy, then you shouldn't be flirting with all sorts of boys at parties; however, you should be yourself around him, don't pretend to be someone else, you'll end up hurting yourself and him in the end if you try to drastically change yourself.
Secondly, you should have sex when you want to, don't let him, or anyone for that matter, force you into it. Remember, whenever you have sex, make sure it's safe.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, nanners1 +, writes (3 May 2009):
hmm ive been in this position before. I was exactly like you, just being with friends and everything, but i dated 1 guy, my frist real guy and i felt just like you. You shouldnt feel trapped, or worried that you'll mess up all the time. Every girl wants to meet her perfect match and when you meet him you shouldnt have to change at all, if anything just tincy little things. I would say if you feel this way then he isnt for you, and you have alot of time to meet the perfect guy and when you do you will no instantly because there wont be any doubt. Don;t be so worried, learn your limits as in what he has a problem with, and consider them, if theyre too much and you possibly cant do it then theres something wrong.
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A
male
reader, lssd90  +, writes (3 May 2009):
 you just need to calm down and try and correct the mistakes you have done.
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