A
female
age
30-35,
*ly09
writes:He's honest and great, but how should i stop being so clingy with my boyfriend and snooping around his phone as well as e-mails? I know this is a big turn off for guys, what should i just know or keep in mind so that i don't have the urge to do this, i'm scared i might be pushing him away with all that i worry about. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (25 May 2009):
 as soon as i met my bf 4 yrs ago, he and i hit it off so well, immediatly he was passing me his cellphone passwords, his email passwords, etc, because he felt he had nothing to hide from me. feeling out of sorts with this, i would tell him i was going into another room when his friends would call him. hed get upset and tell me to stay as he had nothing to hide, even though it was sometimes female friends who called him. he would ask me to check his phone messages when he could not do it, and i felt a little weird, like i was invading his privacy even though he made it clear to me i was not. i think its a beautiful thing what hed done with me when we first met. it definitly made things so much easier as trust was built right away. i think u need to some how tactfully find a way to say, hey, i have nothing to hide from u, so heres my pass words, i thought maybe we could share passwords, because i feeel comfortable enough with u to do so, and see what he says. but, in my mind, heres the only thing i would be careful of. for me, my bf and i knew right away that we would eventually marry eachother. it was that intense our love then, and its so much more evn now 2 yrs later. if ur not sure where ur relationship is headed at this point, i would not do so until u know or have confirmed with him he loves u in that way. i mean, who wants to share things that secrte with a person their just dating but have no intention of commiting to in the future? while there never is a guarantee in life if things will lead to more serious committments, at least u have an idea of where u both feel ur headed. trust is a big thing. without it, u have nothing. god bless my bf for being so open with me from day one. ic ould never of asked for a more loving, loyal and generous man.good luck to u!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Offer to let him read your emails and ask him if you can read his if it driving you so crazy. Is there some reason you feel you don't believe or trust him? Maybe it's not just you, it's him......Usually you have to be pretty serious with a guy to ask him to do these things and once the pandora's box is opened the desire goes away.
But if you want a simple answer, just stop looking.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): I had this problem in a previous relationship and I found that a lot of it has to do with the way you get information from him/her. You can ask what they are doing and who they will be with in a conversational tone. Saying things like, "what are you doing tonight?... oh that sounds fun. Who will be there, anyone I know?" Make it a conversation, not an interrogation. Going through his personal e-mails and phone messages is too much though. You can still keep tabs on him without making it weird.
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A
female
reader, Ms.Helper  +, writes (24 May 2009):
 I'm completely the same.Even though they aren't doing anything wrong, you feel better when you actually SEE that they are doing nothing wrong. It's weird! It's a turn off because they think we don't trust them, it's a turn off for anyone to feel they are untrustworthy!Maybe you should ask him to tell you who he's talking to, what he's been upto? Just to talk more about the people he talks to so you don't feel the need to snoop. Just think, he's with you, he's with you because he wants to be with you, and no one else!You're the only one :)Good luck x
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