A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need to hear some advice. I am 20 years old, and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. Lately i have been pushing him away, i think it is because he is about to leave for college, he has been attending a community college up untill now. I trust him completly, its the hes a 20 year old male part i am worried about however. I know how most guys are at this age, or the sterotypical guy is however. I am just so scared i guess because of the long distance and whenever i try to talk to him about it he just kisses me on the forhead and says not to worry he would never hurt me. Plus it doesn't help that my sister just went away for college and my best friend is also going out of state. I need to know how to prepare myself for such a change, and how to disconnect from my boyfriend without making it drastic. I dont want to break up just i want to be able to be okay with him being so far away. Sorry it took so much for me to explain, your comments are greatly appreciated
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female
reader, Angela.B  +, writes (3 August 2008):
 It is natural to be scared of change, but you can make things easier for yourself (and your boyfriend) by planning about how you are going to deal with the distance now rather than just hoping it will be ok.
If the two of you can sit down and talk, not about the fact you are worried, but actually about what you are going to do while you are apart a lot of your fears will vanish.
How are you going to keep in touch? When will you write to each other? or phone? or talk online? What other things can you do to still feel close? When will you see each other?
It might be that you both have different ideas about what you would like and need, and it is these differences that can cause problems in a long distance relationship. If you think you would like to talk to him on the phone everyday while he thinks twice a week will be enough it is better to discuss it now rather than sat feeling let down while he is away.
It will be a lot of work for both of you, but if you are both agreed on how you are going to handle this change then I am sure you will feel a lot better about him going.
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