A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have a crisis of conscience and I'm in a very sticky situation!! I having been with my current girlfriend since November. I knew her for quite a while before we got together. She moved in with me after a couple of months because she was having a lot of arguments with her parents. It all moved very quickly and I'm just starting to realise that I don't want to be in this situation any more. We first got together a few months after I had split with my previous girlfriend. I guess I was a bit lonely and needed someone and she took the first step. It kind of feels like I've just ended up here and I'm looking back wondering what the hell has happened!!! The main problem is that I don't feel the same about her as she feels about me. I am interested in someone else and on a night out the other night, she expressed her interest in me. I have liked her for a long while and thought the feelings had gone but they haven't. She has been with someone else for a while but while we were in high spirits after a few drinks she commented that "she missed her chance with me". She knew that I wanted to be more than friends and while we were talking she said we were denying how we both feel. Things like this, though not to this extent, have been said before and I did ask if it was the drink that was talking. She said that it wasn't and we ended up kissing. I felt exceptionally guilty about this as I didn't think I could ever cheat on anyone. Can anyone give me any advice?
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female
reader, forsaken_airman +, writes (13 May 2008):
dude, just break up with your girlfriend and go for the girl. doing what you're doing, is going to hurt your girlfriend more than you. break it off with her. a heart break now is better than the long run.
A
female
reader, Aliki-baby +, writes (13 May 2008):
You must end this. It's not fair on either of you, least of all your partner. Just explain that you're drifting apart, and it's not the same anymore. Tell her that you never intended for this to happen but that's the way life goes. Love hurts. Good luck x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): Just grow some balls and tell her its over. Maybe next time hold off moving a woman in for a while it builds up false hope.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, kikicupid +, writes (12 May 2008):
I suggest stop seeing the girl you like until you end things with the girl your with-yes you kissed but do not let it go further and end it with the live-in girlfriend- you will hurt both girls less if you do it soon, and you will be really relieved once you've done it. good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): I'm sorry I can't give you any helpful advice, but you should feel guilty. And next time, you should think about what you do a head of time instead of just "letting things happen".
I know I sound bitter, but I'm just so sick of having my heart, and having to console so many of my friends for having their hearts, broken by 20's something guys who led on their girlfriends like this instead of dealing with their emotions before hand. If you're not ready for it, dont lead the girl on, tell her right away that you dont feel the same way.
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