A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My bf has stepped out on me, more than once, and engaged in sexual activity with these women. I’ve attempted to leave the relationship, but he refuses to let me go, telling me that I am the one he really loves and wants to be with and wants a future with. He claims that he is no longer in contact with these women, but I have evidence that he still is. It has gotten to the point that I no longer want to have sex with him because of this betrayal. I just want out of this relationship. How can I get out of this, he won't leave me alone?
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (7 October 2012):
 He refuses to let you go? What does that look like? Did he chain you up in his basement? Tie you to a kitchen chair?
I don't mean to be facetious here, OP, but once you break up with someone the relationship is over, whether they accept it or not. All they can do (besides escalating into criminal behaviour which thankfully few do) is plead or nag. And he will continue to plead and nag as long as he thinks it will get him what he wants. Once he finally realises you don't care, he will give up. That may take a while, but it will happen. You just have to stick to your guns.
You can help yourself by setting up blocks to bar him from phoning or emailing you. You could change your phone number to something unlisted. If he is that persistent, you could apply for a restraining order.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (7 October 2012):
Tell him it’s finished and that you won’t compromise on that. Tell him that it’s best for everyone if you both move on, as there is no future for your relationship. If he continues trying to make contact with you, just ignore him completely and if it gets to the point where it’s harassment, that then becomes a legal issue. When you say that he won’t let you go, what do you mean? Is it that you live with him and he won’t move out? In that instance, so long as you’re not in danger, you should try and get practical matters sorted out before having this conversation such as finding yourself somewhere to live, if you don’t own the property yourself and have the right to make him leave. If by this, however, you mean that he puts emotional pressure on you to stay, I’m afraid you’re just going to have to tough it out and stick to your guns. A relationship where you stay because of emotional manipulation is going to be a desperately unhappy one.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 October 2012):
 He won't leave you alone, how?
Does he call you, show up, text, FB, e-mail? ALL this you can ignore. Tell him it's over. Honestly, I would do it over the phone, I don't think he "deserves" to be told face to face.
YOU are in the age group 4-50 so you ought to be able to say no and mean it.
If he starts to stalk or harass you, contact the police.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (7 October 2012):
 Leaving a relationship is never easy but in your situation it's easier than most. Think of married women, married with children, or live in partners. They have more things making them stuck in these relationships while you don't. Also think you can do better than cheaters. Once you take him back again and again you are sending him a message that it's okay for him to lie and hide his affairs. He doesn't care about you and will never change. You just tell him you can't do this anymore, get your stuff at his house, leave, then block his number. He has never thought about your emotional wellness so you don't have to think of his. To make it easier to let go, imagine your marriage with him. It will be sexless and he will be hiding texts from you. You will hear him say sweet words that don't mean anything. Or worse he might be stringing you along until you feel drained hoping he will change.
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A
male
reader, tamperingtampaguy +, writes (7 October 2012):
Leave and tell him you will call the police if he stalks you. Sounds like a real insecure contrl freak that thinks he can have it all.
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