A
male
age
41-50,
*orotaka
writes:Almost a year ago, I met one of the most amazing women I have ever known at an audition. We "clicked" immediately, but the only trouble was, was that we were both in relationships at the time. Fast forward to 3 months ago where we got back in touch with each other. Since then, we have gotten to know each other more and both agree that we have real chemistry. I have never known someone that I feel so comfortable being myself around, especially since I am usually extremely shy around girls I like. I basically feels like I have found my other half, so to speak. I recently asked her if she was seeing someone, to which she nodded a sad yes. Ugh! yet again, my timing has sucked! LOL! However, she did say that if this other guy breaks her heart, we will definately date. I told her I would be content waiting for her, but in the mean time staying as we are, and building a solid friendship since I think that is one of the most important aspect of any relationship. Lately, we have been seeing more and more of each other, going to movies (which her bf never brings her to), going to auditions together, etc etc. Basically getting to really know each other. Heck, she even amazed me recently by remembering what I was eating when we first met. It has been great spending time with her! She never mentions her bf though. However, he did call after we got out of the movies the other night. She did not mention to him that she was out with a friend though, and her whole demeanor changed when he called from being peppy and fun to a bit depressed. Plus she was apprehensive about me walking her back to where she was going to meet him. So it appears she does not want him to know about me, even though that we are just friends for the moment. So the real question is, how should I proceed with all of this? I REALLY like and care about this gal. We have so much fun together and really mesh well. Plus she obviously wants to spend more time with me, and it is usually her suggesting we do something together. It is hard just remaining friends while she is with this other guy. Part of me wants her to break up with this guy, but the other part of me does not want to be "that guy" that breaks up someone else's relationship. I am just afraid of messing this up somehow between the two of us and someone getting hurt. Any advice?
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (29 July 2007):
 Bit of a nightmare isnt it.
I wouldn't recommend seeing someone thats just split with anyone anyway, the risk of them going back & you getting hurt is quite high.
How longs she been with this guy? Have they got children?
Makes all the difference really. Maybe her relationship has run its course but shes worried about leaving him for some reason.
Although i could understand he wouldnt be happy her going to the cinema with another guy even if you are only friends, you want it to be more dont you, so its a dangerous set up. Thats why shes not told him.
Would you like it if you was in his shoes? He might adore her, so someone might get hurt.
I personally think you need to ask her where you stand, if she just wants to stay friends for good, can you handle that? And how do you feel about her lying to him?
Im not sure i would want to build a future with someone that is currently lying to their partner, i mean, would they do the same to me eventually?
I know, you cant help who you fall in love with.
But i think if i was you & i asked her if she ever has any intention of leaving him, and she says no, i would move on.
Its a bit messy otherwise.
And might get in your way of meeting someone thats ready for a relationship.
Good luck
C xxxx
A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help +, writes (29 July 2007):
 well i know its hard but being friends is the best way. and in my opinion if she liked you as much as she says she does than she would of left her boyfriend for you. just be friends with her, you guys seem to have fun together and just remain like that its not fair for you but its the best way. and its so romantic that you are waiting for her but please be careful that you don't get hurt, you could end waiting forever and never of had as much fun with any over girl because you were waiting for her. just be careful xx
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