A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 35 years and we have one son 28.I am 59 and my husband is almost 61. For about 10 years we had a commuter marriage and I only saw my husband on week-ends. During that time my husband had two affairs within one year. With each of the affairs there was a lot of money spent out of his retirement to offer the woman a more lavish lifestyle than she had. With each affair he was going to marry the woman and leave me. We reconciled because I blamed myself because I was gone and I felt that he was lonely. About 3 years ago, he lost his job and came to live with me. He found a job about 10 months later and about 8 months later he started having an affair with someone 20 years younger.I didn't find out about it until last year. The situation escalated and finally he left in December of last year.He has his own apartment. After he left, he found out that he has prostate cancer Now he wants to marry this person who has 3 children-girls 6,8,and 12. He has brought me a separation and property settlement agreement to sign. I have not signed it. I feel that he is going through male menopause and is in denial about his life situation. Meanwhile he is still paying the mortgage for our residence and a few other bills He has been taking money out of his retirement again and this woman is using him like an ATM machine. I know that I need a lawyer, but he has left me with no access to money. I have a small business that does not make much money. Everyone tells me not to take him back if he ever asks because he is a serial cheater and has passive aggressive behavior. What should I do?
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male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (29 July 2007):
I really believe that you are so much better off away from him. Make sure you have the most amicable settlement with your solicitor.
By what you say there seems to be no advantage at all in staying with him and by separating it will eventually develop a stronger you and a more confident you.
A
female
reader, Rasvim +, writes (29 July 2007):
Get out of there before he's coming to you for money after his gold-diggers drain him dry. You deserve better. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (29 July 2007):
 Stay well away now you havent got him there.Let him get on with sorting the dicorce, if he wants one and you cant afford it then he will have to pay.You coped fine when he was away all week in the past. Time to move on and you never know, you might meet someone decent.Good luckC xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): Sign the papers and set yourself free. Enough is enough. Find a wonderful man for YOU that is prepared to be loyal. There are plenty out there - feel that buzz of excitement again. I am so sorry that you have been used by this man but you can do so much better. If you simply pity him that is not a reason to be with him.
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