A
male
age
30-35,
*aptainh
writes:I feel like I have done wrong by a lot of people, and in doing so, I feel I have let myself down. I know I am a teenager and I have a lot of time to get my head around it all but for a long time now, I have been trying to figure out why I had so many thoughts running through my head on how to get around feelings that I was unconfident, that no one liked me, that I had no friends. What I realise now is that I probably have not given people that I consider or considered to friends the friendship that they deserve and that I know I can give. As a result, I do not talk to them or see them very often because im afraid that they see me as being awkward to be around and this hasn't really done my confidence any favours. So, effectively I have been taking short cuts, not doing everything I can - sticking in my comfort zone (this is the case in a number of aspects in my life)I know now that I want to change this, along with a few other things. For example, I am in my last year of school and I keep telling myself that I'm doing enough, but my grades and levels of consistency are not where I want them to be. I don't want people, especially girls, to think that I'm the kid who is really awkward to be around. I just want to prove others wrong and prove myself right
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 April 2012):
 You just need to learn to be yourself with others. Am sure you have a great personality if you let it show. So instead of worrying about what you look like to others just be yourself. Why not ask your friends to go out for a night to catch up, just be yourself. Talk to them, try and make new friends. Just ask questions about them, make a few jokes and be comfortable with yourself. You probably feel you are way more awkward than what others look at you as. So don't put yourself down, just be carefree and don't worry about others.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (28 April 2012):
So many people wish they could be a better friend, that’s quite normal, and it says a lot about the kind of person that you are (those being good things). My concern is that you’re so worried about this, and about being awkward or being seen as awkward, that it’s actually blocking your ability to form and maintain friendships, and it’s therefore very important that you try and overcome this fear. But that’s easy to say, right? Try these practical suggestions to help you interact more easily with people, and indeed, to be a good friend. They’ll be hard at first, but it’ll get easier.•Ask some-one how they are. It’s usually a good start to a conversation. Some people might say that’s obvious, but actually you’d be amazed how many people don’t do it, and what a great impression you’ll make if you do. •Don’t know what to say? Try to get the other person talking about themselves. We’re all experts in one thing: ourselves, and people like talking about what they like, what they do, what they think, or how they feel. If you already know something about the person you want to talk to, for example that they enjoy films, think of things you might add, or questions you could ask in advance. Good conversation’s all about being responsive to information, and like anything the better you get at it, the easier, and the more natural it will become.•An easy way to not seem awkward is, when chatting to people, to avoid what I call conversational dead ends. A conversational dead end is a reply to a question that tends to kill the conversation because it’s hard to follow it with anything else. For example, you’re asked how you are, and you simply reply “I’m fine thanks” and don’t say anything else. What can you add to it? Why are you feeling this way-the weather’s good? You’ve had some good news? You’re looking forward to something that’s going to happen later today? Whatever it is, say it!•My last tip is to be emotionally responsive. If you sense that something’s up with a friend, ask them, and ask if they wish to talk about it? The thing that you need to understand is that being a good friend isn’t about having all the answers, it’s not about always knowing exactly what to say, it’s not about being a particular kind of person (you can be sure that the people in the popular crowd at school don’t actually have that many good friends and a lot of acquaintances). It’s simply about being generous with your time, and your effort, about showing kindness, respect and consideration. A person like that will, in turn, find good friends themselves. I firmly believe that if you have one good friend in life, you’re a very lucky person. It doesn’t matter to a good friend if you are a bit shy and awkward around people. I’m certain that if you follow the steps I’ve given you, you’ll increase your confidence. You’ve got a good friend locked away in there, and those steps, as well as helping you feel more confident, will help show all your good qualities to other people.I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Thisiscrazy +, writes (28 April 2012):
 All I can say is now you realize the person you were being isn't who you are so show everyone who you really are be confident and start at a fresh beginning. Your grades are going to suffer if your worrying about what people think of you all the time. I feel your way to hard on yourself and you must realize you can only do what your capable of so don't push yourself cause it's only going to build more pressure on yourself .. Approach everyone in a happy go lucky manner stop thinking about what they think of you and just be true to yourself. Don't change who you are it never works just be more positive and people will see that shining through
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