A
male
age
,
*lash33
writes:I have a problem with what appears to me to be minimal care and concern about different matters in my relationship. I talk openly with my fiance about things that occur in our relationship but almost every time I do she gets upset with me, or she hears me but she doesn't act like she really cares. It takes a while for me to get over something but I do and its not really that long but I need to feel that she is concerned and cares about what's bothering me. What is the problem here? What can or should I do to remedy this.
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (29 April 2012):
 How often do you have grievances that need voicing? What kinds of grievances are you talking about? Was she always this way or is this is a recent phenomenon? How often does she bring to light grievances of her own with you? How long do these talks usually last?
Not knowing anything else about your fiance makes it difficult to answer this question, but since you haven't indicated any other kind of problem I'll hazard a guess. It might be that she thinks you complain too often, about too many things and/or that you go on for too long.
If that is the case then my advice is to be more selective of the issues you bring up and keep it brief. You don't have to bring every annoyance to her attention. That and focus on what you DO want instead of what you don't. 'I like it when you do (such and such) usually meets with more success than 'I hate it when you do X'.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 April 2012):
 I think you are in the right here, communication is important in a relationship and it is good to talk about things that annoy or upset us, if she gets annoyed at you talking about things, then it's obvious she just does not like talking about these kind of things, and she just ignores them like she does not care. This is something you both need to discuss before you think about getting married or else it will always cause problems. Ask her why she has this guard up and explain to her how it makes you feel.
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A
female
reader, Thisiscrazy  +, writes (28 April 2012):
 Some people go straight into defense mode when something negitive is said towards them or there part in something .. Try and talk to her in a different way directing the concerns at yourself but still getting your message across eg.. I'm feeling that I don't feel enough about things when they come up I don't know if it's me being weird but I feel like your not fussed about things I'm sure it's just me being silly but would be great if you could ease my mind.....
Sounds like she is taking ofence to anything you say so try and change it up see how she reacts
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