A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 15 and i think i am gay. I really dont want to be but i think i am. Everytime i think of boys my age i get aroused. But I have feelings for girls but i Never get aroused. It doesnt make sense. So am i gay bi or straight If you read this please help i am so lost right nowand if i am gay bi how could i tell my mom she is hater towards gays and bis Reply to this Question
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male
reader, jjprego +, writes (1 December 2010):
If you get aroused by boys and not girls, then you are probably gay. You are young, however, and maybe just haven't had any experience with girls, and you might find that you enjoy it. The best advice I can give is that if you think that there is something there, then there probably is, so you shouldn't ignore it, but you should wait until your ready to deal with it. You are still very young and I don't really think you can categorize yourself as any one thing at your age. Explore your sexuality with a girl or a guy if you find the right person, and see where it goes from there. Don't try and rush into seeking it out though.
Since you are so young, your mom will probably make things more confusing for you, because she will most likely impose her wishes on you to not be gay, and she will probably try to convince you that you are not. As only you can make that decision, I would say wait to tell her until you are more sure about yourself, but find someone you can trust to talk about it with.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): Oh wow...I think I'm going through something similar...
I am 15, I'm a guy, and I don't know what I want.
As far as arousal goes, I only really think about sex when I'm at home, and for that time, I guess I'm gay. When I'm at school though, I don't feel the same way. And it's not just guys, I don't really feel attracted to anybody I know. I feel no physical nor mental/personal attraction to anbody (in the "more than friendly" way). Some good advice I've come across (about dating in general) is this: You're in highschool, you don't have to rush into a relationship. It's hghschool, we're still very young, and as a result of puberty, we get RAGING hormones that don't exactly HELP. You can put off dating and relationships to whatever age you start to feel comfortable with. Don't however try to just be a complete social hermit. Withdrawing yourself from society isn't going to help. So, as far as your sexuality goes, I think the unfortunate truth is, there's no sure, absolute way to find out which way you swing. It doesn't show up on blood/urine tests, and it's not up to you. I would suggest that you maybe wait a little bit. Ask yourself later on what you want from a relationship.
ALSO, I'm still nervous about coming out (especially since I'm sexually confused myself), and afraid that some people will react badly to my coming out, like one of my great friends for example. We mess around in class all the time, and occasionally hangout a gatherings/parties/etc. He actually told me that he is a homophobe. I asked him why, but he couldn't even explain it himself. Now I don't know what to do, and I'm nervous that he won't talk to me if I tell him, or worse. I think he'll instantly think that I'm the stereotype homosexual, and just abandon me, for what he thinks I am... which would suck.
One good thing that you can remember though, is that you are not the only one. There are other people out there like you, and many people who I'm sure will love you regardless of what you do in the sack. I really don't think that sexuality should affect anyone who isn't DIRECTLY involved with the sexual acts... I mean really. Being angry because someone slept with someone else. If someone sleeps with me, then shouldn't it just affect us?
Your sexuality is an ATTRIBUTE of who you are, not the basis, and if your mom loves you, then she will accept you. You are who you are. Live and make yourself happy, don't live by making others happy. Live Your own life.
Bro, I hope this helps you out, and I wish you good luck if finding what you're looking for. Peace!
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A
male
reader, der_zyniker +, writes (28 November 2010):
I was sort of in the same situation. I turned out to be gay and I still haven't told my family because they hate gays. If you are gay or bisexual you will have to tell your mother eventually. I personally am waiting for when i graduate from college to tell them so I will be financially independent. When you tell your mom is completely up to you. Just know that you are not alone. I would maybe confide in a couple of friends because I didn't tell anyone until recently and feeling completely alone just ate me alive. I didn't feel like I could trust anyone. I turned out neurotic because. I'm a little paranoid. I am bitter and resentful towards some of my family members. You need to have someone in your life that you can go to about this. It also forms a strong trust between you and those friends. The friends that I have told come to me about problems that they have never told anyone else about. Being gay or bi sexual isn't as uncommon as you may think. I've told about 40 people that I know. Out of those people 2 are gay and 1 is bisexual and 1 doesn't know where he stands. He is 19 and he still doesn't know where he stands with this. For some this can be very confusing. There are others like me that always knew where they stand with this. Just give it some time. If you ever have any questions about this feel free to send me a message on here. It might be a week or so before I can answer, but I'll get back to you.
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A
male
reader, VJay  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 Well..In my opinion..You're just curious about your orientation. I think thats normal for a young guy like your age. That feeling will go away someday I guess, just try to go out with girls more often if you don't wanna be like that. Be strong, dude.
And your mom..Even IF you are gay or bi, you're her son. Try talking to her about this. Im sure she'll understand. Just dont go like 'mom, Im gay'. That'll make things worse and If she really loves you, She's willing to accept and not hate you.
So..I hope this helps a bit and Good luck.
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A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 Your hormones are going mad right now...Alot of people question their sexuality at your age. I was really attracted to girls at your age, as well as boys. I acted on it a few times, but as I've grown up I've realised I'm attracted to men only.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): hi, dear i read what you feel, but my suggestion to you is not to feel like a gay because it will not take you anywhere, try to live life as a normal person as your friends might be,you have written if you see boys you are aroused,
ask to yourself do you wathc pornsites with your male friends more often. if so stop doing this to prevent yourself from getting a pleasure with those people, try to tell your parents or who ever takes care of you, or you will be trapped by a bad world waiting outside.
remember ... complete your study, keep yourself busy,you dont need to arouse yourself in such a small age.
you are just 15 yr old and i am like your elder sister so pls dont destroy yourself.your parents also except a normal life from you.
best of luck .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): It is possible you rank somewhere along the scale of bisexuality, but if you are only Sexually attracted to males, that would mean you are gay. I know society would therefore put you in a stereotyped and less- than- fully accepted minority and that sounds unappealing to you, but I hope you will soon come to accept and take pride in your sexuality and all other aspects of your individuality."Coming out" to your friends and family is very often a scary thing to consider and difficult to muster the confidence to do. Let's hope someone will drop by this thread with a story of their own to share as I (straight female!) have never experienced it and could not offer the best advice on how to go about it...Be happy with what you were born and what you've grown to be. There's no reason to be ashamed of your sexuality; if anyone you know proves unaccepting, know that there are larger worlds out there full of all types of new friends (and loves!) who would welcome you with open arms, no matter what any other part f society thinks.Love,Tante Victoire
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): It seems as though you are confused. If girls don't seem to arouse you and boys do; then you are gay. If both turn you on; you are bi.There's NOTHING wrong with being gay/bi so don't feel bad about it. That's how God made you...you are just as normal as anyone around you.Regarding your mom, maybe you can tell her later, when you are a bit older and can stand on your two feet. You will have to tell her someday though, so don't put if off for too long.Don't worry so much. Be strong :)
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A
female
reader, PsILoveYou +, writes (27 November 2010):
 I am in the exact situation as you are!! Except i'm a girl....
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