A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 26 year old female...I am pretty, friendly, have lots of guy friends....and most people don't believe me when I say that I am still a virgin. I mainly fear because I am overweight that no guy will be attracted to me. I used to be thin and fit but due to health problems, gained a lot of weight. I am getting older now and as I get older, I am more and more nervous- like gosh will he even believe me that I am a virgin? (I apparently don't come across as one) I am pretty but I just don't get hit on by men that I am atrracted to..just don't want to be a 30 yr old virgin- what am I doing wrong?
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overweight, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): My current GF has been a drop dead gorgeous, skinny blonde her whole life. She is 40, and lost her virginity at.......wait.........30! She even worked in an adult gift store while she was a virgin. She was just shy, and very selective.
So you are not alone...even skinny women sometimes abstain well past 26. Weight is not a hinderance for a good number of men, especially if you're pretty. You may need to look at the places you socialize, who you are with and how you act around men.
And Trancedrythmear...good luck bro! Gotta let us know how it goes!
A
male
reader, Boy Blue +, writes (2 October 2010):
Perhaps you should lower your standards and give guys who do hit on you a chance within a decent amount of judgement of course. Try aiming for a decent guy and a meaningful relationship instead of the virgin idea coz then you just might seem desperate. You don't want to be giving off those vibes when you are talking to guys.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (2 October 2010):
many many men love curvy and over wieghted women,
there might be something else that is distrating from you
try to think it out
i am sure well find a solution
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Virgin or not, if you are a woman you will be able to find a guy that will sleep with you.
Its worse if you are a 27 year old virgin man like myself. Trust me. Men can't just walk into a bar and get a woman to sleep with them because they have a penis.
Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Im a 25 year old V card holder (only for two more weeks as Ive got something planned) and have a weight issue as well. My body can only do so much with diet and exercise ive opted to have surgery on my stomach. It frustrates the hell out of me, esp with women. Its prob one of the reasons why I havent gotten laid. I would for sure consult your doctor and perhaps get some tests run. But listen, mind over body any day of the damn week. I dont care how damn a woman is beautiful, if she's got rocks upstairs...thats the ballgame. It just doesnt happen. I also dont necessarily have a preference for physique ive dated girls that range in weight from 110 to 140 or even 150. Guys make fun of me...kinda like shallow hal lol...but in the end, i get the laugh cause they arent happy with just "chasing tail". Dont be scared to approach men...in fact, thats damn refreshing cause whenever I kindly approach a woman, unless I dont have a beer in my hand, she wont give me the light of day. Youre past tho, something different. act on it. you see a guy u think is HAWT go after his ass lol...worse thing he says is no but as long as you feel what you want and know who you are (i e have some confidence) you'll be okay. Good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 My guesses are :
when your body changed ,you got self conscious and now you "carry" it not with pride and pleasure but as if it were a rather embarassing Halloween costume . ( I hear ya, - I've been there too and it sucks also because nobody really believes you gained weight due to health issues, everybody suspects you have been secretly pigging out ).
Now you can either try bring your weight back to what it used to be by diet and exercise, if your health issues allow that, or learn to live well in your new body,knowing that beauty comes in all sizes and shapes .
And / or : men are unnerved by the faint tic-toc of your virginity clock ticking. Chances are you are anxious about the time limits you set for yourself, so you can't relax and just get to know people and see what happens. You probably mentally evaluate every man you meet as a potential candidate if not for partnership at least for your defloration. And they feel it.
Relax and let things unfold naturally. How can you relax , you'll say. By taking a break from your problem, a sort of sabbatical. Act and think as if you had decided
that you can't bother with men right now for at least 6 months, and use the time to give yourself any kind of pleasure and entertainment that does not require the presence of a partner. Spoil yourself, do what you like most- travel, read, dance, go shopping , start a revolution or get a facial- whatever makes you happy ( or at least happier ). Once you have made friends again with yourself, and once you will be proud again of your fat and virgin body exactly as it is - things will dramatically improve , I promise you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): overall i think its a confidence issue. try being more active and just believing in your self more. one step at a time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): hmm i think you should have more confidence in your self and try to put your self out there, more you can become more active by just walking, over all i think its the confidence.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Listen. If you can learn to love yourself for who you are, then there is BOUND to be someone out there who will feel the same way. It may not be what you want to hear, but you need to love yourself, before someone can love you. It's probably what you are doing wrong.
Otherwise, if you have two options, and the first one I said above, and the second one is, be a tough girl that you are and fight your weight down. It'll be hard, but in this modern day, there are people who are willing to support you, and may EVEN BE SUFFERING the same problems YOU HAVE.
Heck, I know it's not funny, and I'm going to , but if you do get a guy, try renting a random assortment of videos, and add in one of the "random" videos you had chose "The 40 Year Old Virgin" and tell him after you've watched the movie (it doesn't have to be immediately either, but doing this will prepare him to throw his mind on something more plausible).
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