A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is a question I have about friendships with married men. I met a guy at college whom I get along with well and we have gotten to know each other more on a personal level in recent months. I'm hesitant about developing a closer friendship, however, because of his married status. We are both in our mid twenties. I have a long-term boyfriend and he just got married recently. I don't have any friends who is married at the moment so I'm not sure if there is some sort of rules when it comes to being friends with a married man. Since we are at a small professional college, I also would want to avoid any possibility of rumors or speculations from our peers. Especially since he is a handsome man, I don't want others perceiving our friendship as me coming onto him or anything of that sort. I am just wondering if hanging out for coffee or dinner or going swimming at the gym with a married man is regarded as normal and acceptable, and if hanging out regularly at school or outside of school will bring about any unwanted gossip.
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female
reader, curious0hot  +, writes (31 January 2010):
 Anytime two members of the opposite sex (provided one isn't homosexual) hang out there will be the question of if it's more than friendship. Especially when those two people are hanging out with just each other (not in a group). I assume you're not just paranoid, and know something about your community. I'd listen to the little feeling, and stick to hanging out occasionally or with at least one other person along.
A
female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (30 January 2010):
 I would be very careful because what you may see as an innocent friendship may not be as others perceive it. I think you are very astute to even ask this question. A coffee in the workplace is ok, dinner and swimming are not. His wife wouldn't like it. If he is handsome rumours will spread whether you like t or not. Try to limit your contact to pure work issues so people don't get the wrong idea.
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