A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have an ex-gf, which we have remain friends for years after we broke up ( yrs ago ) , which it was due because a mutual understanding. one day she calls me to tell me she was getting married, i wished her well and told her i was happy for her. later she contacted me again (months later ) to tell me she was pregnant, again i wished her well, etc. she has kept in touch with me every now and then, also sending pictures of her daughter. i did not mind because there was no physical contact between us, just e-mails or phone calls, very few. recently, she calls me very early in the morning to tell me that her husband has found out that she is talking to me and that he did not like that ( I understand ), even though our contact has been just business or e-mails. i told her that i wished her weel, but not to contact me again, i did not want to be the reason for a fight or a break up. weeks have gone by and now she calls me to give a business contact, which i do not really need, when i asked her why is she calling me, ( she could have sent it by e-mail)i asked her about what her husband would think if he found out again, she replied that it is ok because it is only business- i thought that was the case before. is there something in her mind or actions that i'm not picking up ??
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (1 October 2009):
 Unless there was something unfinished between the two of you, then my guess is that she is doing this for the drama. She gets attention from an ex (you), she is doing something forbidden, she might get caught by her husband...it is a safe (relatively) speaking form of drama for her.
However, you know that if he finds out, she might just as well blame you for encouraging her to contact you, for the simple fact that you reply to her.
I would suggest that if you are serious about not wanting to be blamed for their problems, the simplest thing you can do is not reply to her emails, and not pick up the phone when she calls. In time, she will get the message. She is looking for attention to fuel her drama. Cut off the attention and she will focus her issues somewhere else.
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
A
female
reader, SeriouslyStephanie  +, writes (1 October 2009):
 Sounds like 1 of 3 things.
1) She isn't happy in her relationship, and is contacting you to use that as an excuse for a fight or break up.
2) She isn't over you deep down, so keeps contacting you just to speak to you.
3) She genuinely wants to just say hi now and then and doesn't realise the consequences it could cause with her other half.
I think perhaps you could A) Ask her again not to contact you and explain that you don't want to cause problems between her and her other half or B) Try and contact her other half, and explain the situation to him and then he won't take it out on you, and could perhaps just tell her why it makes thing awkward contacting you.
Hope this helps, keep me posted. Good Luck :)
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