A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I don't want my boyfriend to see me naked! He keeps telling me that I'm beautiful and that he'd love to see my body but I'm really self conscious cause I was made fun of for my body and looks for 3 years. I was depressed and anorexic and bulimic and I cut myself. I don't do any of those things anymore though. I am 13 and weigh 112. I'm 5'1 and I always feel so fat. I'd love to weigh less. I lost nearly ten pounds because I didn't like the way I looked. I want to have sex with my boyfriend [who's 14] and I'm ready for it and I'm totally educated and I know everything there is to know about it. I just get really uncomfortable when he wants to shower with me or see me naked or make out with me when we're naked... I just don't like it. Also when he touches my vagina I LOVE IT. I just tell him not to touch me or dry hump me or anything because I don't want to take my clothes off. I feel so awkard in my own skin. I just want to have a good relationship and I want to get over my extreme self consciousness. How!!?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): As much as you may say you are or convince yourself you're ready, you're not ready to have sex. You're 13 years of age. You're not mentally ready and you're body is certainly not physically ready (has not developed fully).
Even though you do seem pretty mature for your age, you still do not sound ready at all to have sex. If you was, you wouldn't be asking this question and you wouldn't feel so uncomfortable. Being 100% ready for sex is feeling 100% comfortable with yourself and the person you're with. You're not.
I'm sorry to hear about you being anorexic, bulimic, etc in the past. You sound like you still have a lot of insecurities about your body so you definitely need more time to learn how to be happy with who you are. These things take time. So many people have been in that position (including myself) and it isn't easy, but you WILL get there in the end. Even seeing a doctor or counselor if you have to. As you get older you WILL gain more confidence in your self, believe me. Time is a great healer.
But yes, you should definitely wait until you have sex. At LEAST a couple of years.
If you do end up having sex please, use protection.
A
female
reader, OhGetReal  +, writes (19 September 2010):
 You are too young to be having sex. Your body may be ready, but you are not ready emotionally or psychologically to handle the emotions that come up during sex, as well as the inevitable break up that will follow.Boys want one thing and they will say anything to get it, but lose respect when you do. He's a kid, you're a kid. You can get pregnant and it will ruin your life. You also are at a very high risk, both of you because of your young age for contracting HPV, a virus that causes oral, anal, cervical cancers. Condoms do not protect against it, and neither does never having had sex before. This virus can be passed on through oral to genital contact as well. The virus can live under his fingernails.Your youth is the risk factor. Wait until you are much older to have sex. You will not regret your poor decisions. You have your whole life to be an adult in adult relationships, don't rush being sexually active. It is not worth it, not worth your health or your life, or your future.Wait.
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A
female
reader, spanishquerida  +, writes (19 September 2010):
If you were truly ready for this then you wouldn't feel so uncomfortable. Whether you liked yourself or not, you should trust your partner to find you beautiful no matter how you are and so would be willing to let him see you. The fact that you're so nervous about him seeing you just proves that you're not as ready for this as you think you are.
Just wait a while and see what happens. If your trust for him grows then you should not worry about this and you'll slowly feel as though you can let him see you. But at this age you're far too young to understand the emotional commitment related to sex, trust me. You will regret it when you're older! Just wait a few years and then see what happens. If he really loves you all that much then he'll be fine waiting.
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