A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This will sound an odd question but are there ANY women out there who don't have a desire to have kids? I am 36 and am single again after 10 years. My partner had no desire to have kids, which suited me. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate kids - I have a goddaughter I am very fond of and am actually very good with kids; I just like handing them back after a few hours and have never, ever had the desire to have my own.I've been internet dating for a while and almost every woman in their 30s is either a single mother or wants kids. My ex partner was ten years older than me, and while finding another partner a fair bit older may get round this issue, there were other issues with the age gap I don't want to repeat.Is it really going to be a case of being on my own because of this?
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male
reader, Flavio  +, writes (22 July 2010):
 Hey man, I had the exact same problem. Just 1,5 month ago, my girlfriend of 6,5 years left me because of the children issue. We have been living together for the last 2 years, but as I could never decide if I wanted to have kids (I already have one of 13 years old) she left. I'm 39 and she's 32, so I guess she's at the pinnacle of the children issue.
What sucks is that we both really like each other. I don't know if I can call it true love or whatever, but we really have a real strong bond. I'm already seeing some women, but deep inside it kind of hurt being away from her. Maybe I was already used to the routine, etc.
I really wanted to stay with her only. I'd like us to be life partners, I guess. We got along along very well. Some minor problem like every couple, but still...
She wants to have 3 kids or at least 2! That's way far from what I wanted. I don't even know if I could commit to just one.
So, we're on the same road man. I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, but the only thing we can do is wait and see right?!
Good luck to you too.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): No, I don't think you'll have to be on your own because of this. There are women out there who will never want children. I am one of them. For some reason, I seem to be having nearly the same problem trying to find a man who doesn't want kids. Not sure why that is. Just a matter of finding the right one I suppose!
Hope you find someone, and good luck!
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (28 June 2010):
 I wonder if you object to dating someone a little older than you whose kids are maybe almost grown?...it's an option...or do you just want a one on one?
I know it must be frustrating for you but there is no real answer other than wait and see, I guess. At least with internet dating you can state on your profile that you want someone without children.
Believe me love it's no more frustrating than being my age and trying to find a loving partner, your not on your own.
Hugs
Aunty Em xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAunty Em (that's weird, because I do have an Aunty Em) - it's hard not to stop worrying when every time I meet someone I like they make a big thing that they really want kids. There's no point carrying on a casual dating thing because if either or both of us really start to like the other then it's going to end in tears because I really don't want to budge. I don't want perfection, but I do not believe this is an area for compromise (for EITHER person). Casual dating is all very well, but I want something more and my previous LTR went the way of the dodo because she decided she wanted kids and so we split. I don't want that heartache again.
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A
female
reader, cindy 15 +, writes (28 June 2010):
 to be honest and a womans point of view there are at least 80/90 percent of the world woman want kids and some dont. i for one dont want kids but to be honest with you there is no 100 percent you will get the relation ship you want ans it will be tough in finding a woman that doesnt want kids. hope you find wat ur lookin 4!
luck
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (28 June 2010):
Maybe you might have to wait until your in your 40's to truly find a woman who shares your desire to remain child free. There are certainly quite a few woman who don't want children, but in their 30's, I think women struggle more with the 'ticking clock' issue so like to keep their options open...it's a delicate and indecisive time, so thats probably why your having problems.
My suggestion would be to continue to date casually (to avoid loneliness) be open and honest about your principals and enjoy other aspects of your life that singledom allows.
There are no guarantees that you will find the perfect relationship even if you do find a woman who doesn't want a family...there are so many other points that come into play...it's all pot luck, so just enjoy your life and stop worrying.
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