A
male
age
36-40,
*ners01
writes:Ok long story short. There's been a female I've been interested in and I believe she has been interested in me as well. I say this because I always catch her staring at me, for long amounts of time. She sat in front of me once and kept looking back at me and sometimes holding the eye contact for along time. I always returned these long stares however; I am shy. This has been going on for about 3 months, we've had some very small talk (how was your week exc) but nothing really past that. I've always had a hard time approaching her as well (due to being shy).So to sum it up she stares at me a lot and also has given me multiple eyebrow flashes (as if to say hello in sign language).Out of being a boozo, I just smiled back at her and didn't really initiate contact right away because I wasen't sure what the eyebrow flash meant till I looked it up. However... I didn't totally ignore her either.A few weeks later, I finally have gotten over my anxiety and decided to go over and try and make a full fledged conversation with her. I just started conversation with her(She was still staring at me the day I did this, so I'm guessing there's still interest) and within seconds, she goes pulls out her phone and "texts" someone for along time, this had to be a good 20-30 second ackward silence, after that she didn't even look at me and walked away like we weren't talking at all.I don't understand? She was starring at me again prior to that happening (the same night). How can someone that was giving me eyebrow flashes and looking at me scurry away from a conversation and a perfect opportunity to get to know each other?Is she interested? Is she not? I don't get it...
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male
reader, Universe Man  +, writes (28 June 2010):
Probably real conversation with someone she is attracted to makes her feel awkward just like it does you. Probably the way she deals with feeling awkward is to stare at her phone. Lots of people are developing that habit. Don't ever take one event as wiping out all the other signals you got. Give her another chance.Try something halfway between the "very small talk" which is comfortable but will get you nowhere, and the "full fledged conversation" which is bold but apparently too intense for her. You could also try very gently teasing her for staring at you. Like maybe say with a smile "Do I have something on my face?" You could also just make silly faces at her like return the eyebrow gesture, but exaggerated and goofy. If you can make her laugh, you're gold.
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