A
female
age
30-35,
*azed_and_Confsued
writes:Willing to break up with his girlfriend for me, but, I don't want him to end up resenting me if things don't work out how he plans between the two of us (he's a good friend and I'd hate to lose that). We have such a good time together, doing absolutely nothing really, just being with one another. But what if this is just us rekindling an old flame and I ruin their relationship for nothing? For me at least, I wouldn't want to be with a guy who didn't want to be with me and if he's willing to leave her now then it's bound to happen at some point even if it isn't for me.. I could really see things working between us. Help! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Anonymousmale1 +, writes (30 January 2010):
 It's funny, I read your question and I get the feeling that you simply want someone to agree with you so that you feel better.
I could actually give you many reasons why this situation is a bad idea, however I will only give you one. "A man who cheats with you, will cheat on you."
Today you may feel special and I am sure he has a lot to do with those butterflies in your stomach. Thats cool, but you need to understand that the girl that he is with at this moment has feelings too. Regardless of how you try to rationalize his leaving, the truth of the matter is that you are a part of the destruction of someone else's relationship and that is simply not cool.
I am sure that there are plenty of available unattached men that would love to have you, it would be wise to seek them out.
Right now you feel like you have a handle on this situation but what happens when it turns on you? What happens if she discovers your devilish plan before it's executed? Don't think for a minute that he will side with you because he won't. He'll make this whole thing appear to be your doing. Why? Because he is selfish and he will do exactly what selfish people do when the heat is on, take care of his self and shift the blame to you so that he doesn't look bad in anyones eyes.
Look, do you really want to be with a man who is willing to leave the girl he has professed his love for to profess his love for you?
What I have learned over the years regarding situations just like the one you described is this: If he leaves his current for you, for the first couple of months the sex will be great but then will start to go south.
He'll begin to disappear or act less interested and you will become jealous and insecure because you will begin to wonder if he's doing the same thing to you that the two of you did to his ex? Ever heard of karma? Even if he's not planning on cheating on you or you he, because of the way you two began it will be forever on your minds.
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