A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay So my boyfriend We have be going out for a year, he says he loves me and He used to do all kinds of things that I didn't like so I told him to stop and he did, and Now There is this girl she is like his best friend she used to like him and still does an I tolod him that I don't want him talking to her because of that. and like he fights all the time over it and he acts like our relationship is worth losing, I don't know what to do,
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): I agree with CaringGuy. Just relax and let your man be himself. If however this new friend starts getting more time than you, then you might want to talk it over. But don't give him orders and tell him what he can and can't do; that's how you treat children. If you approach him like an adult I'm sure he'll see why this bothers you and eventually cave in. When you love someone you love them exactly the way they are, not the way you think you can change them to be.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 July 2010):
Well, you can't really make a man choose like that. You say she liked him, but you don't say whether he liked her. To be honest, this guy has done quite a bit of changing for you. you're coming across as quite insecure and controlling. You say there were lots of things you didn't like about him, and you told him to stop. He did. Now you're asking him to give up a friend because you think she fancies him.
You can't keep expecting him to change for you like this. You can't. He's given a lot of things up for you. But you're now asking him to give up a close friend on the basis that she likes him, not that he likes her. He's committed to you, and has proved that over the last year. You can't continue to control and change him like this. I'm sorry, but he has every right to speak to his friend, who he has not cheated with (according to this post). You need to start looking at yourself and your own insecurities here. He's changed a lot. You can't continue to make him change.
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