A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:WellI've been 'seeing this girl' for the best part of two months now, and will continue too until the end of this year as its a very important year for us academically. She decided that we couldn't dating or official until the end of the year as it puts to much pressure on her and me, but she didn't want to lose me, at that point i was really not keen on the idea.. but i stuck too it. Now personally i see no difference besides i don't call her my girlfriend...though it's still really hard to wait for her, but i knew it was going to be worth it eventually, well i thought it would be.Things have been, amazing. It's so easy with her to just be yourself.. and i love her, strange that is...haven't told her yet.don't plan too anytime soon.But the thing is as the crunch time comes gradually closer we've had to choose our university courses.She's put down her choices and the majority of them are very far away from here. I'm didn't tell her to stay. Because that's unfair on her. I told her I'd miss her. i don't want to loose her, but i don't want to feel depressed Or suicidal, which I've had issues with in the past. I use to before her get around fine..Girls were easy for me to get.but something about them... Just didn't do anything for me.. i wasn't really happy. I would have a lot of one night stands, to really just cope with reality. And being 17 in a fairly academic school, it gave me a bad reputation to say the least.. but i didn't care. Until i met her.. she was a school friend since primary school so I've known her for a while. We just connected on a spiritual basis..I just want to be with her.. always.. we've haven't even been that intimate.. and i'm fine with that, and even if we do at one point, it would be too suit her.i just want to talk to her see how her day is.. tell her i miss her.. Well anyways in attempts to be happy for once in my life.. i gave her everything devoted everything to her, and now shes thinking about leaving it really destroys me. I WAS DOING FINE WITHOUT HER.i just wanted to be happyand right now i am, because shes here with me.i just fear that if she goes.. i am .. in all regards... fucked. and i don't know what to do...i'm not telling her to stay, i just can't do that. It's not fair on her.. and it's not me.i can't let her give up on her dreams for someone like me.I'm not usually like this. I'm not use to feeling so...vulnerable..What do i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not saying that I'd be suicidal if she left.
just saying it might happen.. it could, knowing my past.
pretty much.. i know whats out there.. and whilst it wasn't sad or boring i was never really happy or fully enjoyed it but i wasn't depressed.. I wasn't feeling suicidal i didn't hate life life i use too... and im my mind that meant i was fine.
With her i found i could be happy, and not just fine, genuinely happy, finally.
Without her.. I'd probably just go back to that.
Coping with life until another her drifted by.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 I would suggest finding a councelor and talking to them. You have issues much deeper then what you are thinking they are. It is not normal to be so attached to someone after only 2 months. It is also not normal to be contemplating suicide at the thought of losing her.
On one level you are showing great maturity by not wanting to hold her back, and I commend you for that. On another level you are showing great immaturity by the way you have handled relationships in the past. Strings of one night stands aren't healthy at any age.
I think you need to seek some professional help to get to the root of your feelings. My gut tells me that there is more here than what is written. You say you were doing fine without her, but in reality you weren't. You were doing very self destructive behavior. You need to get to the root of that first. Good luck.
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