A
male
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anonymous
writes:Hello hello. Battling with a few things in my love life and i'd appreciate some other peoples views on it.Basicly 2 years ago i felt ways for a girl that id never felt before, closest thing to love i've ever felt, but there was a messy break up after a month which i didnt take well, and since then i havent really made much of an effort with another girl, but now ive taken alot of interest from different girls, especially one who i've told i like. The problem is i dont want a relationship right now, ive got too much going on in my life to juggle a girl along with them, and i dont know how to tell her i dont want a relationship without it sounding like its just a nice way of saying no, because its not at all!I feel almost as if i should be meeting new people without being taken back by a girl (ive only just started going out properly again and meeting new people).Bottom line is i dont want a commitment and this girl does, do you think i should tell her that? What can i say to make sure she doesn't think im just fobbing her off for another girl or something like that?Thanks in advance for anybody who takes the time to read/reply! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Kim in College  +, writes (9 April 2009):
YES you absolutely should. Be honest explain to her what you explained here. Its really heartbreaking to find out later if someone wanting to commit finds the other really never did.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): You should just be honest about it, because the longer you leave it, the more it might hurt her honey. If she's looking for commitment and you're not, then the relationship will be hard to work like this. Like 'vsnod' stated, if you truly thought she was the girl for you, then you would be with her. But this isn't anything to worry about, because some things just aren't meant to be. If she still wants to be together after she knows you're not wanting commitment right now, then great. But otherwise, you've got to let her make her own decisions about whats best for her. Good luck :]
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A
female
reader, vsnod +, writes (4 April 2008):
 You need be upfront with her and the sooner you do the easier it will be on both of you.
I know you are saying that the reason you don't want a relationship is because you have too much going on right now. But the truth is, if you truly did think she was the girl for you, you would be with her. It's ok that she isn't the one for you, so don't feel guilty about that.
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