A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'm a little bit worried because for the last few years all the guys that have asked me out or shown interest in me I haven't found attractive. I don't know if its beacuse I am obviously getting older and the dating pool is getting smaller but I just seem to be getting much older men, really shy introvert geeky guys or guys that just arn't attractive asking me out! Now I consider myself to be pretty attractive for a 35 year old and I think I've got a good personality and am intelligent with a good job as a teacher so I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. My Mum thinks I'm being too choosy but I think you can't force yourself to fancy someone you just arn't attracted to. I must admit I don't go out as much as I used to and I don't meet people through work being an infant teacher but normally you meet guys from time to time through fate or luck or whatever you want to call it but that doesn't seem to be happening lately. I'm quite happy on my own but really crave that fun and excitement and the attention of having a guy in my life plus I would love children. The thing is I don't want any of these guys that are asking me out I want one that makes me excited! I'm not sure what to do please help!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): Well, I guess you are just screwed then because everything anyone has suggested you have already tried and it isn't working for you.
The only person who can change things for you is you, so figure out what you need to correct all those things you just mentioned are not working for you. Why? You are walking in the wrong places, living in the wrong area? What?
Good luck, I hope you figure it out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am a member of a gym but its in a luxury hotel and I must admit its always almost empty the times I go and the only people i've ever got chatting to was a 70 year old guy and a married guy in the sauna!!! I've been on thousands of walks but because I live in a retirement area the people i meet are retired folks or families never single guys!!! x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): If you have a busy work schedule, schedule in some excercise and join a gym you will meet some exciting guys there.
You have a dog. Take the dog with you when you go shopping, find the stores that allow dogs...great conversation starters dogs. When you walk the dog, take him/her to a park with other people and dogs, and say hellow t someone that looks interesting, or someone may come up to your dog....opportunity.
Create opportunity to meet men...they are everywhere, not sitting in a classroom...OK?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice guys! I think another part of the problem is I live in a smallish town. I signed up to a Speed Dating event a couple of years ago but it got cancelled due to not enough men signing up!!!! I've thought about joining a class but I find I'm so snowed under with work its hard squeezing in the time as I struggle with keeping on top of work, cleaning the house walking dog etc already! I do try and get out for drinks evry few weeks but usually its out to my local bars and i never see anyone new or the single guys all tend to be a bit young!!! I'm a bit reluctant to try dating sites and being a teacher I wouldn't really want to put my picture on a dating site and I just find the whole idea a bit tacky, having to write an advert for yourself and everything!!! Anyway fingers crossed x x
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A
female
reader, Fashionista20 +, writes (17 February 2010):
 Why not try speed dating? I know it sounds a bit scary but its a good way to meet and talk to different types of guys and you might find guys there that you are instantly attracted to you. You can take some friends with you and you can have a good laugh. If you dont like someone then you dont even have to tell them as you just secretly score the person.
You need to get out there to meet the right person caring guy is right you should start a new hobbie or class as this way you will be able to meet new people.
Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): If you plan on leaving it up to luck or fate upon meeting someone you may be waiting a long time.
If you want to have a pool to chose from then you have to take yourself to places where you can meet new people and new men. You have to leave your heart open to meeting someone, you have to flirt and acknowledge their existence and give them some encouragement.
Men in their 50's and beyond who are recently divorced or even widowed usually do like women in their mid 30's, but that doesn't mean that men your own age don't find you attractive, you may just have to flirt a little more to make yourself noticed among the 25 year old women that these guys like to ogle and fantasize about.
Most men are looking for an equal though, so be your authentic self so that you will attract the right man to you.
Don't start thinking negatively. It only takes one to make a match.
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A
female
reader, Ria1 +, writes (17 February 2010):
I would suggest don't go looking for it, you never find it when you look! That guy you want is out there somewhere! You should go out more, maybe go to social events or drinking once a month! I don't think your being choosy, I went through a stage like that but, I give up in the end and enjoyed what I had! Also go out with guys, as friends! You might find theres more to them then you think! :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 February 2010):
You are right. You can't just make yourself fancy someone. However, you can make it that you meet other guys. Start a new hobby or a class where other men are so you have something in common with them and just get to know other guys. If you want a Mr Right, get out there an find him. Don't wait for him to come to you. The problem is you're waiting for fate to put him in front of you. It won't. You need to create some luck and get out there and find him and have some fun along the way! Good luck!! :)
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