A
female
age
30-35,
*unkissed29
writes:I always have to initiate hanging out with my boyfriend. He does it probably only 20% of the time, while I ask to hang out 80% of the time. We have been together for 2 years, and we do not live together, but we go to the same school. Like if I don't initiate to hang out for like 5 days, we probably wouldn't see each other for 5 days. The weird thing is, when I ask to hang out, he is up for it most of the time. I probably should not let this be a problem for me, but it does get really annoying to be the one initiating hanging out most of the time, do you know what I mean? Why doesn't he initiate that much? Does he just not need to see me as much, did he get so used to me initiating stuff, or what could it be? Thanks for your help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 April 2011):
 Yes I think that sounds fine to me. At the end of the day everybody is different and expect different things in relationships. If it is really anoying you talk to him about it.
A
female
reader, sunkissed29 +, writes (27 April 2011):
sunkissed29 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much for your input. I think that everything else in our relationship is fine, and maybe this little issue shouldn't be considered a problem since he treats me well and is consistent with texting and phoning me. I would love it if he initiates hanging out more, but I guess he expresses his love in other ways. Do you think that sounds about right?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (26 April 2011):
He may have just fallen in to a routine of you being the one to get in contact with him to hang out and he might not even see it as a problem for you. If all other areas of your relationship is good and he is still treating you well then I would worry to much about it or think that there is anything wrong.
But clearly it is anoying you or else you wouldnt have wrote on here about it. I guess there is no way that you can get him to do this without talking to him about it. A good plan to see how far he would actually go is to not ask him to hang out with you. Give yourself a challenge and dont contact him until he contacts you and see if he will notice that there is something not right. Hopefully in time he will see that he needs to make some of the effort as well.
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