A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy online. I'm in my early twenties and he's in his mid thirties. We talked on the phone a lot. He was very outgoing! Really nice gentleman. We had a lot of the same interest and he was seemed lik a really cool person. We even talked about mayb a relationship if things went well and about meeting each others family..So after about 2 weeks of phone conversation we finally went on a date. As soon as I seen him i greeted him with a kiss and a hug! ... Then as we began to walk into the mall, I grabbed his hand and he pulled his hand away and I ask," so you don't want to hold my hand" and he says, " nah I just want to get to know you a little better." I js said ok. But In my head I was thinking like wow was that a diss? He doesn't like me?... It was weird because I did show him accurate pictures... So as we watch the movie he's being kinda quiet not really saying much. acting kinda distant as far as conversation... I understand u can't say much in a movie but I felt lik he was way more outgoing over the phone... So as we leave the movies and were walking out I was asking him if he was ok? Was something on his mind? what's wrong? And he's lik nothing everything fine. I'm ok... So I'm lik ok maybe it's me.. Mayb he isn't acting different. Maybe he's just shy?!? So as we get closer to our cars he gives me a kiss and all of a sudden were making out! Lik full blown kissing! I was shocked that he made the move.. Then he invited me back to his place.. But I told him no. He can't get the goodies on the first night... Then i thought to myself, about 2 hours ago he said he wanted to take things slow, now he wants me to stay the night..... And that was the end of our date. So the next day I text him and it's lik small talk.. I feel lik our conversation isn't the same... As days go by I feel lik our conversations aren't the same but idk if it's me and my own insecurity.. It's only Been a few days since our date but I'm wondering if he js wasn't that into me. But why would he invite me bak to his place? And wouldn't he js tell me if he didn't think we would have anything in the future? Or If he js wanted to remain friends.Idk if it's all in my head or if he's js taking things slow..I'm js tired of wondering. Any advice. Please help... Mayb theres something I'm js not seeing... Should I just ask him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): I agree with the other comments.
This guy in also in his mid 30's, maybe just maybe he could be married, with a wife, possibly kids aswell, and wants to replace the fun he is not getting in his marriage,but felt guilty when he actually met up with you. Him being distant and "shy" on a date at his age with a girl he has spoken to on the phone a couple of time just dosent add up. Theres defo more to this guy than he is letting on.
If he's not a player, i would say he's married. Either way i wouldnt get involved with him, because his behaviour on the date didnt add up to the person he made you think he was when he spoke with you on the phone.
Don't allow yourself to be used, be wise.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): It seems he wasnt sure if he was interested in you or not when you met up. Hence not wanting to hold your hand. During the film he was quiet, probably thinking about whether or not to try his 'luck' with you. He decided to, hence full on kissing in the carpark and trying to get you back to his place. He was being disrespectful im afraid. If he had really liked you, he would been respectful and careful not to offend you in anyway. He would have felt flattered you wanted to hold his hand. He would have talked to you and not been distant. And after the movie he would have invited you to go on somewhere for a bite to eat or a nightcap. He wouldnt have invited you back to his place for sex!
Good lass for not sleeping with him. If you had, he would have got what he wanted and you probably wouldnt be hearing from him at all by now. If there is anything about him that you do like, make it plain but let him know you wont be 'doing anything' with him until you know him a lot better. Being that you met him online, its a safe bet you arent the only one hes chatting to and meeting up with. So be safe and dont be tempted into anything casual with him. Its one thing to meet up and theres no spark. It happens. But its another story altogether to meet up and sleep with someone when theres no spark. IF you had gone back to his place and done something, you would be feeling terrible now. Always make a guy wait until you properly know him and there are some emotions involved. That way you will never lose your self respect x
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A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 Yeah, i think i agree with Turtle. I also have to say that's a pretty substantial age gap. Not that i think age is always an issue, but for a mid-30's guy to behave that way...
I really do think he was only surfing for sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): Be careful... this guy sounds like he is only interested in one thing...
He didn't make effort for conversation during the date, which you said was unlike him. Go with that gut instinct. But at the end tried it on with you and was very keen to take you back to his house... What a creep!
Now he feels diminished because he's seen you're not that type of girl to put out straight away and like those typical jerk guys, doesn't want to make the effort because he only wants sex and anything else would require work. I'm really sorry but I guess he is just not into you. Don't waste anymore time with him!
A big warning bell to me was that he was so chatty and friendly beforehand... that's a common thing for players to do.
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