A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why is it that some men are unable to accept getting older and to be parents instead of best pals to their children.Don't you believe there is nothing stranger than seeing fathers in their 30's to 50's out clubbing with their sons? I am not saying you can't be an approachable dad but you need to draw a line! Your thoughtas please?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn reply to the female reader who mentioned Mothers and daughters,the same idea applies to them as well because there's nothing worse than fathers or mothers trying to be like their children!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 are you sure it was the parent?
I am 51 and my best girlfriend is young enough to be my daughter... in fact folks often ask if she's my daughter...
once a child is raised and adult, if they can manage to have a friends relationship with a parent I say GO FOR IT.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): Thanks for the replies! I am not actually experiencing this myself,it is just my personal opinion and was keen to find out what others think!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): I think its great if fathers and sons can go out together socially. As long as the sons aspire to be like their fathers and the fathers arent aspiring to be like their 18 year old sons, i cant see the problem. A lot of older men are back on the dating scene these days. Its nice if they can go out with their sons. Must beat sitting at home on a Saturday night, smoking a pipe and listening to the wireless! As for the old guys out there that are trying to act like teenagers. I think that is just the way they are, its not because they want to be young again, i dont think they ever grew up in the first place. I take it OP, that you have no objections to older wowmen, dressing like teenagers and out clubbing with their daughters? It was interesting that you only mentioned older men and sons.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): I find nothing strange about it at all. I think it's best to enjoy your parents completely while they're still around and if they want to come clubbing with me I'll gladly do that for the person who spent years wiping my arse and cleaning up my sick.
I love watching my mother dance around like a crazy woman and make a fool of herself, it makes me laugh and I couldn't give a rats arse what other people think as long as she's having fun. Besides who better to keep an eye on her than her own son.
I'd hate to look back on my life after my parents are gone and think that I denied them a chance to be close to me as an adult, not only as a parent but as an adult of equal standing and a friend too. I want to look back on those times and be able to say that I knew the person that they were, not just as my parent but as a person, a person who liked to dance and party like me. Parents are different people to their kids, it's only when you see them out of that environment do you actually get to see who they are.
I'll never know what they were like as people before they became a parent but I can definitely get some clues after their job of raising me is done.
Life is too short to shun the people that gave you life, they may be gone tomorrow or may get ill and never be able to dance again but at least I'll be able to say that when they were here I did my best to return the happiness they gave me.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 When the children are children (up to the age around 18-23) parents are parents. And parents will always be parents, but when the children are no longer children, but adults, the relationship takes on a different shape. It can go from parent-child, to more of a friendly relationship, like one would have with other grown up relatives and family.
I have been out dining and dancing with my step-father, or going to the pub together for a beer. I have also been at pubs with my aunt who enjoys a beer now and then as well. I don't see a problem with that at all. I wouldn't have minded going with my parents, it's just that they aren't into these types of activities.
I will add however that my mother treats me too much like her friend, but in return I have resorted to treating her like a friend. Sometimes it is odd to have a friendship with your mother rather than viewing her as purely your mother, but at other times it is good. It is how we relate best to one another. We didn't get along when I grew up, and I can't stand anyone testing authority over me. So the best way for us to relate to one another is to be more friends than mother-daughter.
It might be weird when you're not used to it, but it's not unheard of.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (26 April 2011):
 i am still rofl at the lovely five star answer by liltih5293
Truthfully, i agree with the OP. There comes a time when parents should allow their children to interact and celebrate with their peers, while the parents stay in the background, keeping things safe, but not highjacking the party, and not taking over as the 'star' turn.
The other thing i see is people growing old with dignity. Sure, get the hair colored if it's important. Look after skin, but It starts to get scary when too much plastic surgery is used. It can become just sad.
I see no problem with people living an active life all their lives. I see no problem with elderly people wanting and having an active social and sex life. But just as every age should be discreet about their sex lives i don't want to walk up the garden path and see grandpa bending grandma over the car front. But then i would not want to see it if the couple were 18 and 19 either.
I have great respect for the wisdom of age and the delightful sense of humor in people of all ages, be they 9 or 99 years old.
And i delight in seeing elderly people take part in sport even at a very advanced age. I think that is fantastic to see a 95 year old swim 50 laps in the pool or beat people 60 years their junior playing bridge.
But i do wonder at parents or grandparents trying to out-do their children or grandchildren for 'hip' and 'in'. Grandfather shuffling into rave party with his Zimmer Frame springs to mind.
Similarly grandmother's big bony knees poking out of a skeletal very slim frame wearing hot pants and a string bikini top are hardly edifying sights.
There is dignity in behaving, living and dressing appropriately at any age.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (26 April 2011):
 Sigh.. all us oldies better stay at home then... The young have declared we must sit in front of the TV until their ready for us to die so they can have all our money.I've a question for you? Why don't you want us old people to have fun. What law says your too old to dance in a nightclub. Are you frightened of the competition or something?My mum was a raver until her 60's, nightclubbing twice a week. I didn't resent her. I'm 40, my ex was 50, we met in a nightclub. How am I supposed to meet anyone at home. Half the clubs you go to, and a lot of the music you listen to are produced by my generation anyway. If I was to draw the line, you young "considerate" things wouldn't like where I would put you.If your father is bothering you, just go to another club, or don't take him out on your arm if your embarrassed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): Dad's never grow up, seriously I think my dad is about ten in his mind (possibly younger) and he promised he would never grow up. My sister's 18th birthday was the most embarrassing day of my life, he danced around with everyone thinking he was cool, trust me it was embarrassing. The next day at school I have everyone coming over asking who the crazy man at the party was and I wasn't going to lie. I told them he was my dad and everyone laughed and said 'thank god you have better dance moves than your dad'. I don't think dad's are capable of growing up.
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