A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 21, not bad looking, thin - UK size 8-10 - and I am never approached by men unless they are very drunk. I came out of a LTR about 6 months ago and am finding the dating scene very hard to understand. I don't understand how people meet people and hook up. I never get approached by men in clubs, bars, etc - unless they are very drunk. I don't want anything serious right now because I don't have time for it. I want just someone to sleep with but I refuse to dress sluttily, I don't want a drunken hook-up, I want sober fun. Why do men never approach girls anymore unless they or the girl are drunk? How do people meet people?
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male
reader, DeadEyeDick  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 Well as some one who never really goes to bars and clubs looking for girls, I keep my eye open, but don't ever have the straight mindset im going there to meet the future ex! try looking around, when you see someone that starts to give you tingles, walk up, ask them if they would like to go to (_____) and take care of business!!! I think if a chick said that to me, first id probably look around and see if there were undercovers watching, then Id tell her im not paying for anything, then Id say sure lets grab a room! id be absolutely mindfucked! the sincerity and honesty behind it is almost uncomprehendable.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (12 March 2010):
 Go to a hip hop/black club. Black men are more willing to approach women.Last time I went to one,I turned down 24 men (Yes I counted them). Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): This is a discussion me and my bfs dad have alot. Hes gay and alot of the time he goes out to bars and things all people are interested in are a quick shag in the toilets or somewhere discreet and then its a case of "nice to have met you cya..." Alot of the dating these days are done online and through porn sites and facebook and things like that. many young people just dont go out anymore because the internet is so full of options. However im not saying this applies to the whole population. There are still plenty of people out there but not neccessarily in pubs and night clubs. join a new group get to know new people through friends. go on a work night out or something.
good luck xx
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 The dating game is designed to strengthen the economy. Guys think the more they spend, the more possessions they have, the bigger the chances they are going to get laid. Most single men and women are so sexually starved that they meet wrong people at wrong places. I met my boyfriend online while looking for casual relationships. We got serious. I guess that's because I wasn't expecting anything more and that got the pressure out of him, and he felt safe to express his feelings to me. It's honest of you to want only sex. Men would appreciate your honesty a lot. There is a difference between being desperate for a man's attention and a true desire to bond with a man. I think there is a healthier way to express sexual desire than hooking up with drunkards. Men never approach girls anymore because most are not as open minded, and straightforward as you. It may be an exaggeration to say that whenever a girl meets a guy she asks him what do you do and how much money do you make, that alone would send a guy running a mile, at least mentally.
You don't have to dress sluttily at all. One time I was at the mall a guy saw me and we began talking about how mixed people look. He was mixed. My son was mixed. The conversation got started. He noticed I was still standing there and asked me if I was waiting for my husband. No. Still have a husband? No. Then he got straight to the point and expressed his sexual frustration. We got on well. It was a brief relationship but it proofed that how easy it really is to connect with anyone when they are honest about what they want. None of what we did felt sleazy at all.
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 Try online dating sites, but make it clear you dont want a long term relationship. Be careful if you just pick up casual partners and use common sense.
If your just approaching a guy for sex then chances are you will only get the drunk or desprate ones, most decent guys wont just jump into bed with just anyone, some will but ironically they are probably the ones to avoid.
As for meeting them, just walk up and talk to them. Ask them something cheezy like "do you want to buy me a drink?"
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