A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There's this girl in college, I used to see her, but she never noticed me until like a year ago, when our eyes met for the first time. After that I only saw her like 7-8 times (and she noticed me everytime) around 6 months ago when I started seeing her around everyday in college(She was very irregular in college before that.) and she would also always look whenever I passed by, she would stare and immediately look away whenever I caught her(and that too she always seemed scared).Then one day one we spent like half an hour in the cafeteria(She was with her friend, and i was with mine) and she gave me very very strong signs and that day I was damn sure she was into me.Now she is very beautiful and hangs out with the most popular people in the college there are so many guys after her. So it was obviously not possible to go upto her directly to talk and I am very shy anyways. So I sent a facebook message to her (Which I think is a very lame way of trying to talk to anyone and which I used out of desperation.) and she never replied.I thought it must've been my mistake, that I misread the signs and decided I should just forget about her( which I never did). So I went back to college after like a 45 day vacation and she had gone crazy. She would always stare at me. If she was around, I would always know that she was looking at me. My friends would say that she is staring at me. She still wouldn't freely look at me though, I would always catch her and she would look away.So I decided I should go talk to her and I thought that I should wait for the perfect moment. I thought of passing a smile sometimes, but she would never look at me long enough that I could do that. So I waited and I waited and months passed by. I could never find her alone (there were always guys drooling around her.) She'll be leaving the college in a matter of days, so I sent her another facebook message(I know I am a big loser, don't tell me that again). I tried to make the letter as interesting as I possible could and also not sound desperate or needy.So the main point of the message was that I said that I only wanted to know if there was anything possible because I did not want to keep wondering "What if". I had also written somewhere that "They tell me you are with someone else, but like I said, I do not wish to keep wondering.) I was also afraid she might never reply, again. So I wrote another loser statement "Please have a heart, just send a Sorry with a smiley and I'll be on my way".So she did reply and she did send a sorry with the smiley "I'm really sorry [:)] and nothing rude intended"and I never replied. After like 35 mins she sent me another message "and i dont know who ur source is, but im not dating anyone.."now I don't know what to make of this, is she giving me a hint, or is it that she didn't want me to tell people that she's with someone(We have a pretty conservative atmosphere here) or did she tell me that just because I had written "They tell me you are with someone else, but like I said, I do not wish to keep wondering.I have no Idea whats on her mind, one thing I am sure of, is that she likes me. Is there anything I can or should do? I had promised her that I would not send her anymore messages after this.About the girl: She is very sweet, very nice and everyone likes her. Other girls don't hate her (In spite of being popular)cause she is the nicest person. Did I mention she is very beautiful.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 May 2012):
 Maybe she is playing a game with you, maybe she is was just trying to get your attention so you could show her some attention. It could be possible that it is a game in her head to see if she can get any guy to fall for her.
I know you don't want to accept that she is not interested, but you have told her how you felt and she brushed you off so you need to forget about it now, move on from her, don't give her a second look. If she is going to play mind games she is not worth it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you everyone for helping me out.
But It's hard to believe that she isn't interested. The signs that she would give were very strong. 10 guys sitting and staring at her wouldn't affect her as much as me looking at her did. She would start playing with her hair, set it right. She would turn all aloof, she used to start walking very fast (trust me she walks very slow no matter what). I know for sure that it mattered to her that I saw her.
And it's not like it happened 2-3 times, this was on for around 6 months. There was even this one time when I think she wanted me to talk to her and I acted as if I didn't know she was there and started walking in the opposite direction, she got up and passed me by and went out of her way took the longer route to the gate.
Also I've talked to one of her classmates who says that she is cool and doesn't care what people think about her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012): Unfortunately I think you'll just have to move on. You've made it clear that you're interested and if she hasn't expressed any interest herself then you're wasting your time. Don't worry, I'm sure there are plenty of other sweet girls out there for you.
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A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (27 April 2012):
I'd like to add another possibility. If someone gets caught in staring at you and then looks away, then he/she is very likely interested in you. I have my doubts she could have staged that.
She might be insecure and possibly in conflict because of other love targets since she's popular.
If you get a chance to talk to her in person then take it.
I mean she hasn't helped you out hasn't she. You're still confused about what she (not) wants.
Maybe you can talk to one her friends?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (26 April 2012):
If I am honest with you it sounds to me like she is not interested, if she was she would have replied long before now. As for her saying she is not with someone I think that was just because you had told her you heard she was and she was just clearing it up. I think your best bet is to forget about her and move on, she has made it clear to you she is not interested, who knows why she keeps looking at you but I think you have picked it up wrong. Maybe you remind her off someone? Who knows but I think you need to try and forget her and move on. Good luck.
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