A
female
age
36-40,
*lj5186
writes:I just saw emails that my boyfriend sent his ex 2 weeks ago, that say how he misses and loves her. There was mention that he had a girlfriend but yet he stated he love her......why? Also he lied to Me by telling me he never bought her an engagement and I found emails that he was trying to sell a ring on Craigslist. I confronted him and he said that he doesn't love her and that he is with me and loves me. He said he cares about her but not like he cares about me. He also said that he was trying to sell the ring so that he can get the money to get me one . If all that is true why is he still expressing feelings to his ex? I feel betrayed, lead on and lost.....what to do ? Any recommendations ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2012): How long have you been with him? If I met someone in my life now, I could still honestly tell my ex that I love him and miss him, but I DO NOT want to be back with him. I could certainly want to be with someone new, and NOT want to be back with my ex. But I do still love him, and I do miss him often. It is inappropriate that he said this to her, but check his intentions. The fact he told his ex he has a girlfriend is also telling his ex he won't be with her. How did you come to see the emails? were you suspicious? Your intuition is usually right. If he wanted to be with his ex, he would be and the emails you read probably would have suggested that. hey... just my opinion.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 April 2012):
 Can you ever really trust this guy? Seems like every time his lips move he's lying...
It would be a deal-breaker for me, I don't do liars.
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A
female
reader, jenny_jenny_j +, writes (26 April 2012):
 OP, walk away.I experienced the same thing like you did, the more you hang on to it, the more you will hate this relationship, you will also hate both HIM and YOU in the future. From the way you described it, I can't help but to agree with the others here, your bf can't be trusted. He said all those to you because he wanted to keep both girls at the same time. Why would a guy say such things to an ex if he only cares about you at the moment? I've had a much more terrible experience in the past and sometimes it made me regret and I would think, how come I didn't leave him when I was so clear that he was cheating. If I ever encountered such situation in future, I will call it quits FOR SURE, no listening to his excuses. Instead, I gave him chances, because I really, really loved this man, and still wanted to believe he would change. But what happened later is that he kept lying. He will only admit IF you happen to witness / hear his conversation with his ex. You think he will treasure you more after he has done so much to hurt you? No, he wouldn't put that into consideration. He would still deny it if there's just a tiny chance, because what can he lose? He just wanted to see if you will buy into his crap, if you do, great, he gets to keep you. I can't say he doesn't love you, but obviously he still wants to have "something" with his ex if he said such things on the emails. Avoid this at all costs, OP, I'm telling you, I made a mistake of trusting him again and I don't want you to go through the same thing. I always have this thought, "if I left him at that moment, my life would have been a lot better". I wasted my time with this guy, my life was a mess because it really bothered me that someone I deeply loved has betrayed me like this and made me think everything was fake, and he just wasn't genuine, you are good because you tried to be understanding instead of getting mad in the first place. But he is just taking advantages of your kindness and love. I got very depressed later on when I found him lying again and again and I was constantly in a depressing, contradicting situation. Because you worry day and night, wondering if he's cheating, lying... etc. It's endless... stop the pain now because it is the best time when you can get really logical advices here. Don't put more love into this relationship, he's not worth it. I'm sure you can find someone who is a lot more devoted than he is to you.Good luck! 3
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (26 April 2012):
 He is a liar, and telling somebody else he loves THEM makes him a cheater. Why stay?
This would be a deal breaker for me.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 April 2012):
I think you've found him out - and he knows it. My advice is to walk away from him. You've seen the emails, you know what he thinks. Everything that he said after you found those emails is a lie.
Walk away from him before you get even more hurt.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (26 April 2012):
 Your boyfriend cant be trusted.
If he loved you he wouldnt be sending messages to his ex denying you even exist.
Dont marry him -big mistake!
Goodluck
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