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I don’t trust him, he’s a player! Why does he not want me to move on? What to do?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 June 2019) 6 Answers - (Newest, 8 June 2019)
A female India age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I like this guy from almost 1 year now I had a crush on him even though I knew he had a girlfriend Then abruptly out of the blue he started flirting with me and blushing. his friends tease me even teachers tease me by his name once I saw him with his gf and another friend at a local hotel and they were chatting and I think his other friend told him that I seen him with her I moved on from the crush but he plays the hot and cold games with me he gets really possessive and jealous of other guys hitting on me he himself flirts with some other girls he tried to figure my feelings out through a mutual friend but I said her I only have a crush on him and we are not friends he has also stalked me to my way home before .he hints me that he has left his gf but I dont trust him is he insane player and why does he not want me to move on what should I do

View related questions: crush, flirt, jealous, move on, player, stalking

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2019):

N91 agony auntThis guy is a loser.

Who fights another guy over a girl he THINKS he is dating. Hell, why would it matter even if he WAS dating you? Right off the bat it sounds like this guy has anger issues. Avoid like the plague.

Following you home also?? What a creep.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2019):

Hey guys thanx for giving me replies I have asked this question anonymously and don't know how to update so here's the update:

He through our mutual friend tried to figure out that if I had a boyfriend from the school and he seems to pissed off that I have a boyfriend and yesterday I indirectly made it clear to him that I don't have one!also few days ago he had a fight with a guy who really liked me and he is jealous of the so called guy whom he calls my bf

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (6 June 2019):

CindyCares agony aunt Do YOU want to move on ?

Yes ? Really ?

Then it's fine. You do not need his permission to move on. You can decide to move on, and do it whatever he feels about it. You don't even need to wonder " why " he " does not let you " move on- first, because you are free to not give a flying f..k anymore about what he thinks, likes and prefers; second, because what you say is not quite correct, you can move on if you want, he is not keeping you physically restrained, gagged and tied up. IF you decide it ( and you should decide it, since you are by now convinced that he is an untrustworthy and manipulative player ) you can cut him off from your life, no matter what he says ( which would probably be lies anyway ).

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (6 June 2019):

Honeypie agony auntHe sounds like an idiot. Immature idiot.

I hope you know you CAN do better than that.

While it might have been fun for a while to flirt with him, you HAVE to realize that he HAS a GF, and even if that ended and YOU started dating him, HE would be flirting with other girls too. He would CHASE other girls too. JUST like he has with you.

You made a mistake in telling your friend about the crush. Because new HE feels entitled to you devotion and "worship".

You already KNOW he is bad news, so my advice? Start to ignore him and live your life as you see fit. If he stalks you again, TELL him to go home to his GF and leave you alone.

Stop falling for the flattery, it means NOTHING.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2019):

Nobody likes rejection or to get busted for being a player. He is just trying to reignite your crush. You got over him quickly (so you claim); and that's a blow to his ego, and his studly-reputation. He's getting teased about it, more than likely; and getting his nose rubbed in it. He has probably played other girls, but this one was too smart and kicked him to the curb! But, I'm not exactly sure if that is truly the case?!!

Do yourself a favor, don't tell your girlfriends that you have a crush. They'll play you on each other just to witness the drama and circulate the gossip. Keep crushes to yourself; if you're around people who get too involved in your personal-business. You got teased by teachers and friends; because you publicized your feelings. You wanted the news to travel to him! He knows, and he's going to try and see if he can rekindle the crush; so he can be the one to dump you! To make it look like you're chasing after him for his girlfriend's sake.

If he's stalking you, tell him to stop; or you'll tell his girlfriend. You should also tell him you don't like boys who are players and cheaters. You deserve better than that!

He doesn't care that you've moved-on. In fact, if you're blushing and flirting; he knows you haven't! You're faking!

If you really have gotten over him; maybe he doesn't like the fact you had the gall to reject him...Mr. Big Shot Studly! That blew his reputation! By the same token, you like the fact he's chasing after you. He's a cheat and a player; don't get dung on your shoe!!! Stay away from players, if you value your heart! If he cheats on her, he'll cheat on you! If you flirt with him, that makes you a cheater too! He has a girlfriend, and now you know that. If you keep letting him chase you; while you pretend like you can't stop him. You'll be the topic of everybody's gossip!

His girlfriend just might corner you with a group of her mean-girl friends on top of that! She'll think she's defending her relationship. She does have a right to; even if it's stupid in this particular case.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWhat should you do? Why don't you ask his girlfriend that question? Put yourself in HER shoes and think how you would feel if YOUR boyfriend was playing around with other women the way he is doing.

You sound like a reasonably intelligent young woman. If you got into a relationship with this guy, could you trust him?

You're flattered by the attention he pays you. That's totally understandable. However, HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. Show her respect and walk away from this guy. If your friends or teachers tease you about him, hold your head high and say "He has a girlfriend. I have more self respect than to get involved with someone with a girlfriend" and MEAN it.

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