A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey everyone, i have a small issue..actually its a biiig issue, i dont trust girls anymore, its like i really cant see myself trustin a girl in my life, im a goodlooking guy and i consider myself to be a player, im in a long distance relationship for two years with a girl that i have never met so far, she SAYS she loves me and i feel like i have something for her too..even though im a bad guy who actually cheats on her and hook up with other girls..but the thing is, i always get to have sex with girls that are in a relationship with someone else for a long time,, but i still get to have them and i hate how the girls start talkin about their boyfriends and how idiot they are coz they will never find out that they re being cheated on...yesterday i went clubbin with some friends and i hooked up with this girl that has a boyfriend who lives abroad for education, and she cheated on him with me,, guyz i was shocked when he actually called her while she was at my appartement and you just wont believe how she was lying to him while she was actually in bed with me !!!sometimes i feel like, my long distance girlfriend is cheatin on me too coz its just doesnt make any sence to me that she would be loyal..i mean is something wrong with me? :S i know im like the biggest ass**** for cheatin on her and hooking up with girls that are already taken but i just cant help myself coz i CANT TRUST GIRLS AT ALL !!even though i get all the girls that i want but sometimes i really hate my life, i want my gf to be next to me too..shes a nice girl from a good family but i dont know whether i can trust her or not,,we were plannin to meet soon and im gonna feel sooooo bad if she turns out to be a good girl !!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (22 May 2011):
 'what goes around comes around'
i can see why you don't trust your girl after seeing the way that some girls lie to their boyfriends while they are sneaking around with you. the best thing you can do is to stop this pattern of behaviour now - today and then if you are still finding you have a problem with trust issues, seek counselling for this.
your behaviour and the things you have said suggests to me that underneath that 'player' exterior you actually have got quite low self esteem (feel free to tell me i'm wrong) but what you are doing is just perpetuating your problem - i mean the more encounters with untrustworthy women you have, the more you will believe that the MAJORITY of women must be like that.
do yourself a favour and avoid girls like that. i don't think your LDR is even worth mentioning. 2 years and you have not even met up yet - but she says she loves you?
x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2011): Well you are very young aren't you?! May be if you weren't acting like such a sleaze you wouldn't attract girls that cheat. You describe yourself a 'bad boy' well you'll get 'bad girls' because good girls can probably see what your all about and would never go anywhere near you. Change your behaviour, grow up and will also find the girl you are looking for. I have a boyfriend and have had other men come up to me but I would never do anything because I get everything I need from him. People often cheat if there is something missing in a relationship. All I can say about your LDR is that you clearly have no respect for her and you should end it!
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A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (22 May 2011):
 Wow. Well maybe if you weren't sleeping with them, they wouldn't be cheating? You know you're not helping the situation by banging these girls when you know they already have a partner. It takes two to tango.This is what I gather from what you've written. You don't trust girls, because you're untrustworthy yourself. You know what you're doing to your long-distance girlfriend is wrong, but you think it's justified because in your mind, everyone else is just like you. A CHEATER.But you know what? Not everyone cheats. There are good people in the world who will stay faithful for years and years to one person because they love them. However, your chances of finding these good quality people in night clubs are VERY low. Try meeting people outside of the night scene for a change.I would absolutely HATE to be in your girlfriends shoes. I am in a LDR, and my man and myself are committed to each other. It would utterly destroy me if I were to ever find out that he was sleeping around with women.I think you need to re-evaluate your situation. Think about what the real cause for all of this is. You're being an instigator to all of this. And yeah, your girlfriend probably is faithful to you and you've been sleeping around behind her back. Say for instance she finds out you've been cheating on her. She can't trust you, and because of this huge break in trust, she begins the cycle of cheating on her FUTURE partners, because she says now she can't trust anyone (sound familiar?), henceforth becoming everything you say you despise.What a very sad outcome.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (22 May 2011):
Firstly, how can you class this girl as a girlfriend if you've never met? it's a nonsense.
Secondly, you can't say you dont trust girls when you are doing exactly the same thing that you don't trust them for.
The problem with being a player is it's difficult to get out of that habit.
You're old enough to have had your few years of fun and now you need to take a look at yourself and decide what you want.
If you want a proper girlfriend you need to stop sleeping around endlessly and start dating girls properly.
Then when you get one, you have to be loyal to her.
If you can't do either, then you have little hope.
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