A
female
age
51-59,
*upid_repellant
writes:I hope you guys can help me, i'm drowning in my own am i paranoid question..I met a colleague (A) from a different country 5 years ago. We had this connection and both of us felt it as we discovered 2 years ago when we met again. Anyway i told him that i'm currently separated from my husband for a few years now so that we are clear about circumstances. Somehow we began a relationship where he asked me to live with him when he got a new home.He has another colleague(B) working closely with him who is very interested in him and he bought a home next to hers and now they are neighbours. This is where the complication comes in, they get closer as they spend more time together. Normally it's her initiative, she asks him to go out many times and she even arranges her holidays to meet with his recently.At the same time i got a delegation closer to where he is. It always bothers me about their proximity and B will act friendly and suggest a meetup whenever i'm there but it never happened. Recently A and I had a blowup when i confronted him about B and he said he had no romantic feelings for her and would not be with her even if i wasnt there and he admitted that B had asked him to take days off to accompany her on her holidays! I asked him to think about what he was doing and consider that he hurts me when he's close to her. A few days after he told her that he won't be taking any days off with her and after that she decided to stop contact with him. After that there was several postings in FB from her with songs from Queen "the show must go on" and Abba "knowing me knowing you" and some offhand remarks which can be construed only if you knew her situation. Then days later she posted "Mrs Robinson" dedicated to a special friend. I cannot help but think it's directed to me since he is also younger than i am and people from the office has been asking me strange questions as pertaining to my marital status and such these few days. I told A about this and he says its just because she likes them and now there is tension between us. Am i paranoid to think that she is not as innocent as A might think?
View related questions:
neighbour Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): Ladies, take it from me, in this situation a man (like A) knows exactly what a woman (like B) is up to, and is probably loving the attention. He will tell his partner that A is being nothing more than friendly, leading the partner to conclude that her man is either blind or naive. He is not! He might never have an affair with her but he will lap up her attraction to him for as long as it lasts. We men are weak, vein, insecure and easily flattered. I know because I've been there, much to my shame. (not affairs, but I've known women who are obviously interested and Ive done little to discourage them, and thats the same as encouraging them really.)
A
female
reader, Red591  +, writes (22 September 2010):
 I would never risk a good relationship to keep someone around who I hang out with when I'm bored. He sounds like he likes the ego boost but ask him if he would like it if you hung around some guy who liked you. He would not like it I am sure. If he can't see that she is trying to cause problems than he is choosing not to see it at this point. I would tell him that it bothers you and if he is so damn lonely than maybe you to should live together. If its too soon to move in than maybe you should look for a "friend" too. Its not fair
...............................
A
female
reader, cupid_repellant +, writes (21 September 2010):
cupid_repellant is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear Red591, thank you for taking the time to read my long question and it feels good to know i'm not paranoid!
The current situation is such that she starts to contact him again and starts to like whatever he likes all over again. The problem is i notice there is a change in his behaviour and he doesn't want to lose her as a friend since she's the only one available for company whenever he wants it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Red591 +, writes (20 September 2010):
no she sounds like trouble to me but men are usually very naive on how women can be. They act friendly and try to seduce the guy away. Most just end up with a guy that is seduced away from them sooner or later. However he says he does not want her and if this is true than he will cut contact way down as he should. If he is a good guy, don't drive him away cause this woman is trying to cause problems. I would consider being positive and talking about better places to live (really just getting him away from B) however she can't steal what won't be stolen
...............................
|
