A
male
age
30-35,
*ellium
writes:Hello everyone,I got a little problem over here... I'm since 1 month together with my girlfriend now. Everything is just fine with her; she is the best thing that happened in my life (you know what I mean right? :) ). But as soon alcohol comes into the mixture, everything gets mixed up. Yesterday we got some prosecco and had our fun with a pair of friends over at my place; we were pretty damn drunk.. She started to get horny (sorry for that obscene word but I do not know any synonyms!). When we got into the bed, I started also playing with her. At a point I wanted to start intercourse. I started teasing her, as I found out she fell asleep. She didn't wake up as I started touching her pretty actively, where she usually gets crazy. Now to the point: she lives and studies 30 minutes away from me. I now got the fear that another guy finds out that you can really make use of her when she is drunk and therefore I'll probably get a bit of panic if she goes out with other people without me being there! As a matter of fact, I trust her 101%, but it's something that would not be her fold. What can I do/say? In addition to that, she has been trying to avoid sex.. Am I not good enough for her? Can't I please her? I'm getting a little depressed because of this.. Maybe I'm just not good enough for her..Thanks for your help!
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 I think you're being too hard on yourself. Why don't you ask her if she is satisfied with your sex life? Maybe she IS getting bored from it and you two can come up with a way to keep it interesting, or maybe she's going through a stressful or rough period in her life where she's just not feeling sexy or sexual right now. You really shouldn't assume it's your fault, it's a two way street, and if you open up those avenues of communication, it may be clearer what in fact you're dealing with, maybe it's not your performance at all!
A
male
reader, Hellium +, writes (20 September 2010):
Hellium is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, thank you all for your comments :) I'm sort of depressive because of this. I don't know what I do wrong so I can't do nothing to correct it. Am I so damn bad in bed? Well, that question won't have an answer.. It's very crappy as it is now, and it will only get worse.. Fuck it, once again I made the wrong decision. Maybe Next Time??
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (19 September 2010):
Was she hitting on any of the friends you went out with, or did she only have the hots for you? You could try to say that you're worried she might get interested in other guys when drunk, but be careful to tread lightly, because this is something she could end up pretty defensive of. maybe you could frame it as a concern for her sexual health, or use alcohol as the bad guy in the scenario...think about how you'd want to be told.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): well, this is a really complicated issue.
First, the alcohol part...Maybe you should try to stop her from getting over intoxicated at times like that, if she doesent know that she has this problem, you could sit her down 101 and discuss the issue with her. You definitely cannot follow her everywhere she goes, so this is the only thing you can do.
About the sex issue, I also think you could talk to her about that too. She is your girlfriend ans whatever reasons might be causing her reservations to having sex with you, I think you should know.
solution is, discuss this things with her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): If she's been avoiding it, then she probably just does not want it for the time. As for the trust, alcohol has been proven to impair a persons judgment and it sounds like your GF, all do respect, could have issues with that in terms of vulnerability to other men. My philosophy has always been: If a woman drinks and sleeps with another man and regrets it and uses the excuse that alcohol caused her bad choice, I do not buy it at all. She HAS the choice in the first place whether to drink and she's well aware of the risk she can put herself in a certain situation.
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