A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my wife have been together for 5 yrs and married for four. we have a child together, she is 2. I have two teenagers that live with us. she does the world for them and me even when I wasn't working, but even when I was working she has been emotionless no sex and very little communication.she says she loves me but I know she really don't like me I tried communicating my feelings about sex and telling her to put on something sexy but she never does it. I work as a live in nurse for 4 nights a week when I come home nothing, no feelings. all she talks about is bills and business when we do get intimate she starts dozing on and off, snoring. I try talking and she just give one word responses and then she will cut me off and talk about her job she pays me no attention at all. I prayed about it seeked advice. I started talking to another woman that shows me great affection because now I want to leave my marriage. I'm miserable and just there for my baby. I want to know am I right or wrong and should you stay for kids if miserable. I don't think she loves me but willing to stay married for the look because she is ok being single, as long as she has the baby. I know because she was fine in the past being single, almost 6 yrs. what should I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Silius Sodimus  +, writes (22 January 2013):
Interesting all the female responses called you a cheat yet you actually said " I want to leave my marriage. I'm miserable and just there for my baby." you also said "very little communication" I guess the women here decided to use selective reading and saw sex and have already judged you.Sex and communication are the two key factors in any relationship. Unfortunately the stigma of a man leaving his wife because he is not satisfied is def around these days especially with the feminist movement. Yet all too often when a woman leaves a relationship it seems to be justified when she has "needs". So I'll say this, if your paying the bills and doing more than just asking for sex and you are being romantic and spending time with her that doesn't involve sex and all that crap then your well within your right to leave. However DO NOT cheat because it will make you worse than her. IF your going to do it, do it right, however there is always a risk this new woman seems good because it's "new". I would advise looking at yourself and asking her what it is that's making her upset and that you wan't to help make a great marriage. IF she continually shows dis-interest even when you pro-actively do things to make her happy then get rid of her. In the end she is not related to you. Your child is, so be there for your child, not for her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013): Aunty bimbim is dead on and you wish gives you it straight between the eyes..Stop making excuses for wanting to cheat.. Your wife is dealing with a 2 year old and two teenagers.. And all you want is sex.. Get real and read their post diligently as you won't get better advice than these.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (31 December 2012):
 I think, before you throw this wife and this marriage and this family in the trash can that you should get your eyes off the other woman and work on your marriage.
You need to talk to your wife, honestly talk to her. Listen to what she is saying, and also hear what she is communicating non verbally.
Seems to me your focus is all about the sex, and while it is a very important part of any relationship there is no way a woman who is running a household with two teenagers and a toddler will be able to relax enough to enjoy sex if she is worried about bills and business, and the fact she is dozing off suggests she is tired.
I suggest if you took more of an interest in the bills and business and discussed these with her instead of concentrating on getting betwwen her legs and getting resentful because she thinks about the family's wefare instead of your selfish sexual needs you would get along much better.
The fact you have already gone out and found another woman says you are not only a selfish, self seeking husband and father but a cheating, lying adulterer as well. Concentrate on fixing your broken marriage and family, they are not disposable, but surely worth some effort from you.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (31 December 2012):
 First of all, let me stop you right there. This whole "I don't think she loves me" crap is you trying to justify and break down your wife in your eyes so that you can go have sex with this new woman. "Oh, she doesn't love me anyways".
That's crap and you know it. No woman will stick by an unemployed man and take care of his teenagers that aren't hers, and support you financially and "does the world" if she didn't love you. Your penis is doing the walking right now.
You haven't once sat down and told your wife how you feel. You haven't taken her out on vacation and put the time into your marriage you should. You're simply out of the house and your eye is wandering because you have a two year old at home and your wife has been tired. Everyone needs reminding about being intimate, especially when little kids enter the scene.
If you cheat on her, you will be a huge failure. Go home to your wife and work on your marriage, because she sacrificed a lot to be with you and has been nothing but amazing with you. Give her a chance to be part of the way to put intimacy back into your marriage.
It's easy to "show great affection" when she doesn't have to live with you. Illicit affairs are NOT reality. You're letting your teenagers down. You're letting your 2 year old down. You're letting your wife down.
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