A
female
age
30-35,
*ifteen
writes: hi ive posted on here a long time ago. So if any of you read my other questions, some were about a guy i was involved with. We ended up dating and i was extremely happy. However we broke up about a year ago. I was devistated and i basically gave up on life. I would act myself around people and around my ex boyfriend especially. I didnt want him to know how badly he had hurt me. But i would go home, go to my room and cry myself to sleep everyday for months. i never imagined i would still love him after this long. Its been a year and we dont even communicate anymore. I see him at school but its as if we never knew eachother. By now i figured out that while we were dating, he cheated on me with his ex. I dont hold a grudge about that and im not mad at him. I miss talking to him, i miss kissing him, i miss hugging him, i miss being friends with him and hanging out. Hes made it clear that he has moved on, he moved on a long time ago. Anyway, i want to know how to get over him because its driving me insane. I constantly think about him and it tears me apart. Im depressed and i cant get over it. I would love to be happy with someone else. There is a guy who i occasionally spend time with and we kiss. Were both single so i dont see the problem. I told him i dont want a relationship right now and he understands. Its a casual thing but i sometimes wish it was more. He is such a nice guy and he cares about how i feel. The only thing is i cannot get over my ex. I dont think its fair to start a relationship with this guy if im not completely over my ex. I cant picture myself being with anyone other than my ex and especially being intimate, as far as sex i couldnt picture it with anyone but him. so how should i go about being friends with my ex? How do i approach him and what do i say? Also how do i get over him? And what should i do about this new guy?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): Stay with the new guy as his friend. You like him and he likes you so in time you two will be love birds. Forget about you old bf cuz if he gets back with you you will not like him the same way and then you will end up running back to your new guy. Your old bf is just something to add excitement to dating the new boy. I went through the same thing and my exbf took me back and I was thinking about my current bf when we kissed again for the first time. It was old stale and yuck mouth. That makes me laugh
A
female
reader, cca9130  +, writes (2 February 2011):
Everyone has different ways of dealing with grief and breakups, so it's okay if it's been a year and you still aren't over him. If my guess is correct, I bet he's your first boyfriend or first love, since you are young, and it will be really hard for you to forget about him...it all takes time. I wish I could give you a secret formula to getting over guys, but the only way is the one that's in your heart. Go out with friends! Date other guys even if you don't want a serious commitment, have fun! Focus on other goals you want to achieve and you'll see that in time, he'll be in the past and maybe sometimes you'll ask yourself, "Oh yeah, that guy" and some feelings will come back, which is completly normal. You'l see that one day one guy will fight for you and make you feel loved again and you'll be able to give him your heart :)
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A
male
reader, df30 +, writes (2 February 2011):
Welp, Iv seen many girls that fit that profile. Have an ex usually their first long relationship, they think their bf loves them and they will be together forever, live the fairy tale, nothing could ever go wrong and this is "the one". Thats great for movies but in real life it doesn't pan out. The girl however clings to the forever and always dream and refuses to let it go.So he cheated on you, broke up with you, pays no attention at all to you, forgets you exist. You don't have to answer this but I would bet he was the first person you were intimate with. You can't imagine sex with anyone else? Their are like billions of other penises in the world and you think that his is the only one that you like? I'm not trying to be mean at all but you already know your crazy for still loving this guy, your young, these things happen, the fairytales are for the movies, in real life you need to get to know people and allow love to happen. Its not a destiny thing like in the movies, you find someone who treats you great take it slow and go with it.It's not easy to get over someone you think you love, but realize love doesn't give you just one shot, their will be people coming into your lie in the next few years and youll look back and think you were crazy. Your young you haven't realized how relationships truly work, relax let the guy go who doesn't pay you attention and meet someone new who will make you forget about the loser you were with, that guy is out there their are plenty of them, don't let your ex ruin your opportunity to meet someone who fits the profile as "the one".
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