A
male
age
30-35,
*geek
writes:Hey, me and my girl have been going out for 8 months now, It is a long distance relationship. We get to see each other every 3 or 4 months, for a week or 2. We have learned a ton about each other, since all we do is talk, I love her, and she loves me.Now, I am 20 years only, she is 17. (we both have birthdays in 4 months) When I went to see her over her Christmas break form school, a problem started to develop with her parents. For a little information on her parents- They are Bible Thumper s (her mother at least, her father does not in any way seem connected with the lord) I am Christian, and understand the religion, and am using that term as the only way to describe her mother. She has a very loose control over her children (3 younger brothers)They are rude, disrespectful, and all around brats, and are not disciplined in any way. From what I could see her parents are really harsh on her, but don't seem to enforce any of their "rules" on her brothers. The problem- Over the course of break, I had to sleep and live in their living room, I am happy and thankful they accommodated me for the 2 weeks I was there, but I was quite stressed out because her brothers where constantly bugging and harassing me at all times of the day and night, even coming down to the point where one of them tried to give me pink eye to be funny. I usually ignored them the best I could, and spent time with my girl, and payed attention to her, and her needs. Her brothers did not like this and started telling her parents that I was groping, and being controlling and abusive to their daughter, and they where telling them that I was being abusive and mean to them.This is not true, I assumed that her mother would confront me with the issues and I could enplane the situation and get on with my life, she never did, so i went to her parents and tried to discuss it with them. They just beat around the bush and shoved me out of their room. completely avoiding any confrontation. Now, I have tried many times to discuss with her parents, and find out what the problems they have with me are, they will not listen to me, her dad being blatantly disrespectful and rude, and in no way civil.Rachel (my girl) has no self-esteem, I am trying my hardest to build her up, but her parents through their verbal and emotional abuse just keep breaking her down again, they are so mean to her. So she cant stand up to them.....and they continue to control her.Last night, her parents told her she was to have no contact with me, no calling, no e-maling, no letters, they want her facebook password, and they told her she is not allowed to date me. ( as a couple we are strong and are not letting this get in between us)But she over heard her parents discussing getting a restraining order on me..... can they really do this to me?? And what can I do?I love her, i tried having a relationship with her parents, but they just wont..... they are controlling her so much, she cant even get a proper job, because they arnt letting her have her car, which she still owes money on.... I want to help her, and i dotn want this happening......Help.....Z
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): So long as nothing sexual is going on, there is no lawful avenue they can persue against you.
However, as she lives with them, they have control over who can and cannot enter their house. If they wish it, you habe no choice but to stay out.
So your relationship would need to be kept outside of the house.
Best you can do is be as decent a human being you can and continue to date their daughter. They cannot stop her dating outside.
They can only control what she does in their house.
If she chooses to meet you outside of their house-hold there is little that can be done about it.
Flynn 24
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